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My Girlfriend Wants to try Ecstacy, What should I do?

by Gilberto

Hi Everyone,

I'm G from Mexico. I've been living in the United States for about 5 years, and I'm happy to tell you that I have had great times with my American girlfriend. By the way, she is my first American girlfriend. She is 19, and I'm 20.

We met at school 3 months ago. To be honest, I was not expecting to have a girlfriend at all! It all started when I invited her to a rave. But I really started to like her a week before this event. She started to kiss me, and hug me, and so did I. Her actions on this rave motivated me to ask her out.

Before inviting her to the rave, I knew that she consumed weed and that she had a previous relationship where she consumed a lot of this drug with her boyfriend. And even worse, the boyfriend's parents consumed this drug. So they never had a problem or seen this drug as bad.

Now, where I am getting is that two weeks ago, she told me that she was anxious to try ecstacy, and that she was not consuming weed anymore. I told her that I was totally against her choice and we agreed that she was not going to do it.

This week, she told me again about her anxiety, and for some reason we ended up agreeing that we both are going to try ecstasy at our next rave adventure. However, I've been thinking about my choice, and I am determined to tell her that I changed my mind.

I am planning to tell her that I will accompany her to a rehab clinic and that if she really loves me so much, it should not be hard to go. Also, she has previously told me that she is motivated to quit weed and that's why she is not doing it. But, I think that she is just tired of it and that's why she is curious to try ecstacy.

I just don't know how to approach this problem, and I've been looking for the best method to help her. Today, I went to my local clinic, and they just told me to call CMS and apply for some medical insurence, and stuff. I need advice on how to help her soon before it's too late. What can I do? How can I help her? Should I tell about this to her parents? What's the best way to help her, and soon?

Thank you so much for your time,



Hi G

Tough position you're in. The girl you love wants to try ecstasy, which you're totally against, so what do you do?

First things first, you know that the whole rave culture is not just about the music, but also tends to involve people taking a lot of drugs, especially ecstasy. So putting yourself in that kind of environment consistently, is not conducive to avoiding the predicament you currently find yourself in.

You might be able to go to a rave and not taking anything, but that might not be the case for your girlfriend, especially when she sees how much 'fun' everyone else seems to be having who are high on ecstasy. I know, I've been there. You feel like you're on a different vibe. So I guess it's not surprising that your girlfriend wants to try ecstasy if she's going to raves and sees what it does to other people there.

I'm not saying you shouldn't go to raves, but understand that for someone like your girlfriend it provides a lot of temptation, so you might want to think about taking your girlfriend in future if you don't want her doing ecstasy.

Whether her wanting to try ecstasy makes her a drug addict is a bit early to tell. Some people experiment with drugs etc. and it never becomes a problem. Others go onto develop serious addictions. Which category your girlfriend falls into, we don't know yet. So suggesting rehab to her may be a bit premature.

I think a better approach for you to follow would be to suggest activities that aren't conducive to drug taking in the way raves are, and that way your girlfriend won't be surrounded by the temptation. There's a lot of cool and fun stuff you can do together without going to raves.

At the end of the day though, you need to accept and understand that your girlfriend will in all likelihood do what she really wants to do. Hopefully she doesn't want to take e that badly so that you can talk her out of it. But if she does, she'll find a way, and there isn't a lot you can do about it.

And if that's the case, then you'll need to decide if she's still the kind of girl you want to be with. There are a lot of girls out there that don't do drugs so you've always got the option of choosing differently.

I'm sure everything will work out for the best.

Take Care

P.S. Here's an addiction test you can try and apply to your girlfriend if you're really worried she has a problem. Anything above 6 points means you should be concerned ... and then would be the time to suggest treatment/rehab and talk to her parents.

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Jan 14, 2010
You can't stop her, but you can try talk her out of it
by: C-P

G, you can't stop your girlfriend if she's really determined because she'll find someone else no doubt to do it with. But you can try and convince her otherwise. Insisting on rehab may be a bit much if she doesn't have a genuine drug problem. Being keen to experiment doesn't make you a drug addict, and all that may do is get her back up. So persuade her that there's other cool and fun stuff you guys should try doing, instead of going to raves.

Raves are a haven for use of ecstasy and all sorts of other drugs so your best bet is to try and stay away, at least when you're with your girlfriend. And despite what some people say, you may want to tell your girlfriend that ecstasy is also potentially highly dangerous and that it's not a drug to take lightly.

Many people mistakenly think it's pretty harmless when in fact it's not - so make your girlfriend aware of the dangers and hopefully that will also make her think twice about wanting to try it.

Good Luck

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