Letting Go Of My "Best Friend" (Alcohol) Long Story ... 3 Days Sober
I am 45 years old and three days sober. Growing up, my Grandparents would come over with a bottle of bourbon just to hang out on a Saturday. At home they got up at 10am, had some orange juice for breakfast and then had a "before lunch drink" at 11am. My other grandmother walked into walls. We thought it was funny. She ran away with one of the drunks in town and we never saw her again.
My Dad and his friends would drink beer while they worked around our farm. We would take the empties and fill them with water and try to be cool like them. When I was 14 I started dating a 16 year old and had my first beer. That was 31 years ago.
I drank socially through high school and college and started dating my future husband when I was 22. His parents were very wealthy and they drank wine. Good wine. His Dad way more than his Mom, but it was so elegant and classy. Just like I wanted to be. So I started drinking wine.
For the next 18 years we raised our two daughters and drank almost everyday. Me a few glasses of wine, he a few glasses of vodka. The last 6 years of that 18 he started drinking after I went to bed and then coming in to "wake" me around 3am. (That led to him calling me names, passing out and then forgetting everything the next day) I continued to drink wine, but compared to my husband's then bottle of vodka a night, it didn't seem like that much.
In 2005 he got so drunk that he sat up in his sleep and punched me in the face. He had no memory of it the next day. I asked for a divorce.
In the last 6 years he has been in rehab 6 times and is now in an inpatient/voluntary incarceration type facility. He has almost died 3 times from the dt's. He has lost everything. I have kept custody of our kids and am now remarried to an amazing man (who rarely even finishes one drink) and even have a beautiful granddaughter. From the outside I have the perfect life. But one thing has remained. The wine.
I am three days sober now. If you asked my husband, my friends or even my kids they would tell you that I don't have a drinking problem. I know differently. I am a fully functioning alcoholic. I never get falling down drunk. I never slur or embarrass anyone. But I forget little things that were said the night before, I've gained weight and I feel foggy and dazed all day. I'm done.
Here is my new View of Alcohol, No longer my "best friend."
Good Luck to everyone