I Changed The Way I Think About Alcohol and Was Able to Quit.
I met her 30 years ago and I liked her right away. When we hung out I felt grown up and confident. She made me feel pretty and part of the crowd. She helped me get in with the Juniors and Seniors.
She wasn’t around much during the week as I was busy with sports and school, but she was with me every weekend. She had this specialness about her, like a light illuminated her. I was drawn to her and she and I spent more and more time together over the years.
Often, she helped the conversation flow more smoothly and gave me the nerve to say things I normally wouldn’t say. There were times where we lost touch for a while, but thoughts of her would drift into my mind and she’d be back. Like she was on the edge of my consciousness, waiting until I noticed her and welcomed her again.
She’s the kind of friend that lingers with you, creeps into your mind and makes you yearn for her company. But she was also the kind of friend who got me into trouble, made me say things I shouldn’t or do things I would regret later. Sometimes when I tried to avoid her influence I’d see her with someone else and I’d miss her.
Soon, I hung out with her every night. Not all night, just for a while. Relaxed, mellow, I deserved to be with my friend. She was so beautiful. I could even just hear her name and miss her. But, she got to be more and more intrusive over time.
She made me want to stay home and just be with her, or go places where I knew she would be. I felt like I didn’t have a say anymore as to whether she was there. She just showed up. From the outside, it looked like I chose when I had her around and that I had control of the relationship, but I didn't.
Finally, after 30 years of friendship I decided to let her go. She didn't go easily. She talked her way back in many times before I found the strength but now I've found it. Even though she had seen me through some good times and some bad times, I realized that she wasn’t really my friend.
She had let me make bad choices, spend my money and left me in a fog. Even though she still looked beautiful to me, curvy, light, sparkling, vivacious. I have said goodbye to my friend for good. I've grown out of our friendship and look forward to finding just me. Goodbye alcohol. I don't need you as a friend anymore.