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Jen's Love and Compassion for Crack Addicted Boyfriend

by Jennifer
(Tampa, FL)

My ex-boyfriend is addicted to crack and alcohol I am not a user. The first month of our relationship was great till I learnt the extent of his problem. His ex showed up and they went to get high together. I did not know that an addict would go to such extremes to get high!


The all-nighters and different people coming in and out was amazing. He would make runs for people he knew and they would share with him. So he rarely bought his own stuff or he would often "owe" the dope man. The danger became greater when he would pick off the product he just got - or take some of the money to buy beer and the people would notice a smaller package and become angry.

I could never understand why a person would get up out of a sound sleep to make a run. The last month of our relationship he turned on me ... the very thing I said I would never let happen, i.e. him control me. I am not doing crack now and will not again!!!

The relationship became violent and sexual encounters became even more violent when he came off his crack high. I stayed with him on and off for a year because the promises of stopping were great and meaningful. I really thought he was going to stop. The lies, other females, jealous of me thinking I was with other people, disrespect for me.

I have lost so much being with this person and never getting anything in return but heartache and shame. He would be really mean after the crack was gone and the next day he would be a MONSTER to be around. He would sleep a long time or stay on the couch for hours.

I need some help and guidance to let this person go and continue a normal life! I am an addict of "trying to fix things" and there is some codependency issues as well can anyone help me and give me some advice on what to do?

If this is a story you resonate with because your story is like Jen's ... you're looking for answers but nothing you do seems to help ... then Help Me! I'm Love With An Addict: How To Survive A Relationship With An Alcoholic or Drug Addict can show you the way forward. Codependency and toxic elements of being involved with a drug addict are hard to break. 'Help Me! I'm In Love With An Addict Can Show You How.'

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by: Anonymous

In a highly toxic, dysfunctional and unhealthy relationship like you've been in, you need to understand that remaining in such a form of codependent relationship is almost also like an addiction. Except your addiction isn't drugs or alcohol - its another person. So you need to get help for that. Coda.org is a group that can help you learn how to form healthy relationships, and stop attracting unhealthy, dysfunctional ones. It starts with learning to love yourself again and making decisions that support that. Be kind and gentle with yourself, but at the same time recognise you need to get help so that you can move on and also not repeat this pattern with someone else. All the best and good luck to you.

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