Update: My Drug Addicted Ex. Need Closure Because Still Feeling Guilty
I originally asked a question about feeling guilty over the death of an ex-boyfriend who was addicted to drugs and alcohol. I became very depressed over finding out about his death and needed to find out what the cause was.
I recently got in touch with a close family member of his and found out that in the year prior to his death he went downhill very quickly. He died of organ failure alone in his home.
I thought finding out this information would give me closure and make me feel better since nothing has but it just left me back at square one--depressed and consumed with a bunch of "what-ifs?" I feel the same way when I first heard of his death, extremely guilty.
Maybe if I stayed he would still be alive today? It hurts me most to know he was alone, that's the worst feeling. I really, truly loved him and this has been the hardest thing I ever had to face. Any advice? Words of encouragement?
As was advised before, you're taking on responsibility for something you had no control over. We can't control whether or not someone else uses drugs and the choices they make with their lives. So as tragic as your ex's death is, you couldn't have prevented it no matter how hard you tried.
Grieving is a natural and important part of the healing process. But taking on unjustified responsibility and guilt is not healthy and something you're going to need to get help with. You should look at going for therapy to help you process this, so that you can deal with your feelings in a healthy and appropriate manner.
This may or may not have been mentioned in answer to your previous question, but there are three things you need to remember in relation to someone you love suffering with an addiction. You didn't cause it, you can't control it and you can't cure it.
Remember and hold onto those three principles. But I think it's important you go talk to someone and deal with the feelings you're facing because you don't want them to consume you and take over your life. You wouldn't have been able to change what happened and it's important you reach a point where you really accept that.
God Bless and Take Care