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Social Drinker or Alcoholism Already ?

by Camelia

My husband drinks every night 1 small vodka/ whiskey followed by 3 large cans of beer or a bottle of wine. He becomes unpleasant and insulting when he does, and sometimes if he does not eat - even after 2 beers he is not pleasant.

His father and bigger brothers were heavy drinkers - and he starts reminding me more and more of them. He would not listen to my pledge of quitting - even as a test, I said, do not drink anything for a week just to prove you can. He says of course he can, but what would be the point?

I reached the point where I am thinking to give him an antacol or something just to make him feel bad/scare him and maybe make him quit - but what if this would do extreme damage to him? Any Advise? Answer

Giving your husband some kind of pharmaceutical drug that will make him feel bad and so hopefully scare him into quitting drinking isn't the answer. The risks are too great and ultimately it solves nothing.

Your husband shows some of the key signs of alcoholism ... and the fact that he is so defensive about how much he drinks and feels he could quit if he wanted to, but doesn't, is a pretty good indicator. Most alcoholics like your husband are in denial and simply refuse to believe they have a problem.

You can't force your husband to change/quit drinking. Ultimately it has to come from him and he has to want to turn his life around, if lasting change is ever going to materialise. But what you can do is making it clear that you don't approve of his drinking and that in the long run you can't see yourself spending the rest of your life with an alcoholic.

Tell him you'll support him if he wants to quit, but that you can't put your life on hold and continue to let yourself be exposed to his insults and inappropriate behaviour when he's drunk. That may motivate him to do something, but again it may not. And if it doesn't you have to figure out how to get on with your life and find happiness whether or not your husband changes.

Because when people we love struggle with alcoholism/addiction, you need to understand that 1) You can't Control them, 2) You Can't Cure them.
So if your husband isn't going to change, make sure you still make the most of your life and do everything you can to find peace and fulfilment. And if that ultimately means having to review whether your relationship is right for you, then so be it.

Good Luck.

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