Alcoholism and Drug Addiction Help Header

SH's Alcohol Abuse: The Father My Son Never Got To Meet

by Shannon
(New York)

I myself abused alcohol for a time in my college years, and when drunk had an accident (not in a car) that left me with a spinal cord injury and permanently in a wheelchair. But this story is not about my drinking. It's about a man (SH) I met 18 years ago. He is my son's father. He's dead now. I just learned of his death which took place last year.

When I met him he was a new immigrant. He lived a hard life, worked long hours and lived in poor conditions. He was not a happy man. He wanted to go back to his country. He said he would do so, many times. He had a son there he wanted to be with. He said he would not marry again - my son's mother, he said. He drank a lot, which is common in his culture. Most of the time he did not seem drunk, as in staggering and slurred speech. But I don't think a single day passed without his drinking beer.

Then I saw him drink in the morning. He was still able to hold a job. He said when he went back to his country he would not drink as much and be "a little bit happy." He briefly had a car but I think something happened, and I think it had to do with drinking. I knew him for 2-1/2 years and I was 7 months pregnant when I saw him last. And then I never heard from him.

There was no internet then and he did not leave a paper trail. Through the years I searched for him. About 8 years ago a PI found a SS#, address in another state. I sent pictures there. A woman called me. She said she was his sister and he was in his country and was married with children. Then we talked some more and I got the impression it was not the same person. I was wrong. She lied (I do not know if she acted alone or on his request). So I kept believing he was in his country.

Until last month when I did a search again and found he was dead. Still not thinking it was the right person, I did a lot of research of public records and uncovered a story of a marriage (to his "sister", a stepson, either a daughter or stepdaughter (not sure), buying a house and losing it to foreclosure, a luxury car lease and losing that too when they went bankrupt, almost a divorce, a conviction for disorderly conduct... I got police reports with his photos on them and that's how I know it's him.

There were 3 DUIs and driving without a license in the years before he died. If he did not have a license with the first DUI there must have been others before that. I don't know the cause of death yet ... he was only 51. I don't know if he thought of me or my son throughout the years but I think he would have liked to have known how he turned out. I think he would have liked to meet him. But now it's too late.

Click here to post comments

Return to Archive of Your Drug Addiction and Alcoholism Stories.





+1 Alcoholism-and-Drug-Addiction-Help.com  

FREE E-Course

"10 Essential Steps to Ending a Life of Alcoholism or Drug Addiction ... Permanently!"

This Course is packed full of valuable information and advice for overcoming addiction that you're unlikely to find anywhere else.

And if you subscribe now - we'll throw in a Special eBook that will help immensely in your struggle against addiction.
E-mail
Name
Then

Don't worry - your e-mail
address is totally secure.
Your details will NEVER be sold and you will NOT be spammed.



XML RSS
What is this?
Add to My Yahoo!
My MSN RSS button
Add to Google


Copyright © 2013 - Alcoholism-and-Drug-Addiction-Help.com - All Rights Reserved.