Ron's Remorse and Addiction Recovery Story
by Ronald E. Houseweart
My story begins just like many others born in the 50's. I got caught up in the madness of the late 60's with all the drugs available on the streets. Marijuana,speed and acid were most prevalent in my town and there were plenty of people using back then ...
Being that I have an addictive nature, it did not take me long to fall into a routine of constant abuse of these drugs. Marijuana was my drug of choice through all the years of my addiction, but speed was relied upon when I worked long hours as a taxi driver. I would break down and inject a pharmaceutical speed called Perludin and be able to drive 10-18 hours per day and still function well enough to never get in an accident or come under the scrutiny of the police.
Years passed and I continued to work as a functioning drug abuser until the early years of the 80's. I believe it was 1982 or so that I was injured severely in a fight I started when I stopped a guy from stabbing his girlfriend in my brother's home. During the fight which eventually involved over ten guys and myself, I was injured by three guys wrapped up in each other grappling with each other,and then they fell on my right leg as I was facing the other way fighting with another guy. When they landed on my leg they tore out my anterior crucial ligament and destroyed my ring cartilage in my knee, all at once. Sudden unbelievable pain rocketed to my brain and I was out of the fight.
After 4 surgeries and many hours in rehab, I came out of it with a pain killer addiction that would last till 2009. I had quit drinking when I was 50 by taking a machette and almost chopping my left hand off at the wrist. I was desperate and knew I needed a shock to help me kick the worst addiction I ever fought in my life.
While in the alcoholic rehab in the hospital, I was asked by the surgeons why I took such a drastic measure to end my drinking, I replied,"in the Bible it says, "If thine right eye offends thee, pluck it out. Better to enter the Kingdom of Heaven with one eye, than never enter at all". I may be a little off on the verse, but they knew what I meant. To show they did and to help me with my quest, they performed the operation to sew all the tendons of my left hand back to my wrist and offered to do it all for free. I never received a bill for it.
As time went on my addiction to the pain killers got bigger and so did my search for other drugs as well. I then got into crack cocaine for two years with the help of an acquaintance of mine that always bought an 1/8 ounce - or two each time and wanted to share it with me for free. He was a good friend of mine and did not feel comfortable sharing with anyone else. Thus I got high for free. All in all I got to the point that my life - my marriage - and my self respect were at an all time low. My wife was ready to leave me and I was no good to anyone as a reliable person.
It suddenly came down to me realizing that just because I had quit drinking I was still an addict. So, I told my doctor I was done with all the pain meds and that I would work on training my brain to ignore the chronic pain and to do something if and when severe, abnormal pain arose to plague me. As I write this, I am pain killer free and use only a muscle relaxer to ease leg cramps I get from work and because of a liver enzyme problem my doc and I are working on to end. I use the drug maybe once in three or four days when the cramps become unbearable. I still do not drink after 7 years.
I guess my point in writing this is to say that you have to develop a "mind set" or a stubborn streak against an addiction and really want to end it. A person hitting their low is the start of this. I was so low - everything looked up to me.