Reasons for My Addiction
I truly believe my addictions are simply my way of interacting with the outside world without which I feel I am unable to do the things I have so much desire for.
I am running over with ideas for what I believe make me happy. I am talented and strong and in my mind I have so much energy but when it comes to doing those things my mind gets all jumbled up.
I start thinking too much until I talk myself out of what I had wanted to do - it's very complicated - I don't know.
I think you're rationalising why your addiction is okay, instead of taking accountability for it and taking the steps necessary to quit drinking or using
Yes you may be especially creative and bursting with ideas, but that's not an excuse for an addiction. Here's an idea - instead of letting all these ideas overwhelm you - choose one and focus exclusively on that.
As long as you keep justifying that your addiction is the only way you can keep 'interacting with the outside world' as you put it - nothing will ever change for you.
You might also want to look into exercises like yoga and meditation that help focus the mind and develop self-awareness - to help you to learn to channel your creativity in good ways rather than self-destructive one's.
You might think in some way that your addiction via whatever substance(s) you're using right now is in some way 'helping' you. Remember addiction is a progressive disease and the longer you leave it the worse it gets. Addictions only ever end badly unless you do something about them - so don't wait - best to do something about yours now.