Parents Sometimes Fail: Four Children are Drug Addicts and My Wife Alcoholic
by J.D. M.
Father of 6 children. 5 boys and 1 daughter. 4 users and 2 sober ones. Wife? Well she is an alcoholic too. Me - well I am a moving target.
Pretty much that's my story and I'm sticking to it as they say.
I always thought I did the best I could until I was proved obviously wrong. They say that kids don't come with instructions, and I lost mine at a very young age.
Unfortunately you don't need a license or certification to have your own children, just a willing "Carrier" to bear the burden of child birth.
The first I found out that was an abuser was my wife. Her drinking was much more than a drink at dinner. It became a drive with a drink, a dinner with a drink, a good day with a drink, a bad day with a drink, it became a drink with a drink. Then finally an affair with a drink. That was the first bullet I had to dodge.
While dodging that bullet, it really got complicated even more. I didn't see my kids having a hard time until--Number 2 son is having a hard time in school. Damn - he must be drinking??? NOT! Let's look in his room....Hummm what are these papers with the wet spots on them? Do people really still do LSD? First trip to jail for a 14 year old ....
Then - "The phone call." "Can you come home? The police are here." "They have a search warrant and are looking for money received from drug sales of your 12 year old" !!!!!
In a short while one wants out and insists on joining the army. Not saying why, but he wanted away from the insanity--He was the smart one.
Daughter was older and had run away. When she returned, the others want to be like big sister. How do you load a needle? How do you get that stuff in a needle. By then drugs were a daily part of our family I think, but didn't know.
"Hey honey, did you get in my wallet? There is a hundred dollar bill missing."
Honey--- "where is the video game?"
"Has anyone seen my pistol, it was in my drawer....."
Telephone again ... Mr XXX, I think one of your trucks are parked in our parking lot--Can't be, it is parked ---- oh shxt! Where is it?
Ok, so I've got my guard up and watching every child I've got...
Then the blind side--- Honey, I have fallen in love with a co-worker and he understands me!!!!
By now I am really wishing, hoping I could find that gun!!!!
Ok, I can fix everything, I always have! I'll get cameras installed. I'll put alarms in. "Son", was that you in this picture, getting into my desk, or wallet? Yes, I'm sorry ... 14 times later----Cameras were a waste of money!!!
Oh, I know, I will put GPS' in my vehicles.
Bottom line is all that stuff does is to confirm what you all ready know. Unless knowing where to pick up your truck is a consolation ....
Eleven years later ----- well one in 'rehabed' for the 3rd time ... I kicked one out and said don't come back until you are cleaned up. Youngest is in a rehab facility. (Thank God for insurance). Number 3 three is still using I'm sure. Needle on floor was a dead give away..
I've always thought I was a pretty smart guy. I guess that was my first and biggest mistake. I looked up the word "Normal" in the dictionary. I found out that I live in a normal house. It just isn't a good normal, but it is the "Normal" we have become accustomed too.
Question is---NOW WHAT????