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Nicole's Alcohol Addiction: I Promised Myself I'd Never Be Like My Mother, Only To Realise ...

I grew up with an alcoholic mother and always felt that I was the grown up and not her. As a teen I was very rebellious - at thirteen I started smoking marijuana, at fourteen was coming home drunk, and at fifteen decided drinking wasn't for me but kept smoking marijuana until I had my children.

I then realized this habit wasn't socially or legally accepted so I gave up. I then started drinking. I thought I was fine and have always tried to be aware of my mother's alcohol addiction and told myself I would never be like her. I play with my children, I am very fit and active, I have a social life and I only drink on the weekends.

But as time went on I would not only have a glass or two on Saturday night, I would have a bottle or two Friday, Saturday and Sunday night. This bothered me for at least a year but I still tricked myself with 'oh I wait to the kids are in bed or I am still active.' But then I started not remembering arguments with my husband whilst drinking or would go out with friends and not remember how I got home - not cool at 37.

The final awakening was a big fight with hubby whilst he was driving home from a party. I hit him a few times, cut him with my ring, then jumped out of the car while it was moving. My mother all over again just as I remember.

So I went looking for the definition of an alcoholic - angry and trying to prove him wrong ... and that I was still in control, only to find your website. Well it finally sunk in. I am an alcoholic. It has been 4 weeks since then and I have not touched a drop of alcohol. Thank you.

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by: C-P

Well done Nicole! Thanks for sharing and the kind words. Self-awareness is where change begins, and you had the self-awareness to realise you were turning out to be just like your mother ... and from there you were in a position to deal with and face your alcohol addiction. It's incredible how often we repeat the patterns of our parents, even when we promise ourselves initially we'll be different. But through the tough times is where we really learn and develop the most - so thanks for illustrating that. All the best on your ongoing journey.

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