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My Son's Personality Changed For The Worse After He Became Drug Free

by Kate

Why didn't I get the same son back after he successfully got off drugs? He's very different personality then he was BEFORE his addiction.

I feel like my son died 6 yrs ago before he hit rehab ... and even though he has not done drugs in 4 years and is married now ... the son I knew never survived.

It feels like a death to me ... such a severe loss. His personality is so different and the way he treats me is so cruelly. He married a woman who abuses him physically and emotionally. He barely contacts me. He would have never acted like this before his addiction. I am at a loss.

Has anyone else had a noticeable change in personality in their loved one, even though they were successfully rehabilitated? Answer

Firstly, it's important that you be grateful your son has dealt with and overcome his drug addiction. It's a massive achievement and something you should be proud of.

The fact that he's also gotten married and had a child means he's come a long way, even if his marriage isn't what you'd like it to be. Hopefully he's mature and strong enough to deal with whatever issues there are in his relationship.

As to why his personality and behavior, especially towards you, has changed since going through rehab ... only he'll be able to answer that. Have you spoken to him and asked him why?

People change, attitudes and personalities change, and the fact that it seemingly happened after leaving rehab could be coincidental. Maybe rehab did change him, but why his attitude towards you changed since that point, only he can answer.

So try and communicate with your son and rebuild your relationship with him. It's not uncommon for their to be unresolved issues between child and parent that play a part in their addiction.

Being in rehab where your son would have received intensive therapy, may have brought some of those issues to the fore. But of course that's pure speculation.

The only person who can answer your question is your son. So you need to try and have a conversation with him to find out why. As his mother it can't be easy having your son treat you so badly, but no relationship is irreparable, so don't give up on resolving things with him.

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Personality change responsew NEW
by: Anonymous

Thank you for your words. Sorry that you miss your sons prior personality. It is so hard to know if he may have been covering up some of his true self before during his use. I too have seen a personality chage in my son during his use. One day fun and happy the next day a fit of anger.

I'm glad that he is clean. Marijuana mellow folks then has rebound on some people and makes them mean and violent.
Wierd considering this is a "harmless" drug.

It is a blessing that he has married and has a child. Some folks will never achieve those things. Best of Lick

Personality change
by: John

I can only relate to my personal experience. Having been caught up in the throes of chronic alcoholism for 27 years, I understand that change is necessary. the treatment center saved my life but what they gave me were a set of instructions on how to maintain recovery! Addiction is not a 1 time fix, it never goes away. I can and did put it into remission.
I needed to work a daily recovery program which gave me just that one day. I immersed myself in the recovery principles of several 12 step programs. working the steps into my life the byproduct of doing this was that it caused a change for the better in my life. I emphasize better. Any one who stops using any drug will change but as I experienced and have seen in others change for the better only comes with learning how to do the next right thing, or as we call it practice spiritual principals.
As for how to deal with your son, I highly recommend Al-Anon. Your sons drug use impacted you in a negative way and you need to heal from this and learn about love and detachment and all of the other codependent behaviors which is a normal evolutionary process for those who try to fix an addict.
Good luck!

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