My Son is Addicted to Marijuana. How Can I Help Him See the Destruction He is Leaving Behind?

by Pattie
(CA, USA)

My Son is 24 years old. He started smoking pot in his teens, the rehab place told us he had to be using other drugs in order for them to help.

Since then I have seen my son go from a charming, sweet, shy, smart, talented, loving person - to a hardened person who swears lie a sailor, tells me to F off constantly, yells, is angry all the time, has high anxiety and stress, and wants to talk about ufo's, molecules, occupy movement, etc.

I have written numerous letters to him and talked to him about his change in personality. I have offered therapy and rehab. He denies he needs any help. Thanks to his Dad who smoked pot with him growing up, he has no intentions of quitting.

How do I stay connected to my son, and not give up? I have told him I would never give up on him, but I can't take the abuse any longer. We can only see each other for 45 min. without having an argument.

Should I drop off the psychologist's card and rehab information and tell him I'll see him when he's better? Or leave him alone??

Alcoholism-and-Drug-Addiction-Help.com Answer

Pattie, you can't make your son see how marijuana has changed him. Until he decides for himself that he needs to do something about his smoking and make changes in his life, the unfortunate reality is that there is very little you can do.

It doesn't help that many people believe marijuana to be harmless. And many people do smoke it successfully without there being any negative repercussions, but for some like your son it leads to addiction, psychosis and other effects you mention.

But until he sees that for himself, you're fighting a losing battle, and the more you challenge him, the more defensive he's going to get.

So the best way for you to handle him is to let him know you love him and want only the best for him, but that you can't control the choices he makes and if he wants to keep smoking marijuana there is nothing you can do.

But you have to tell him that you don't want a part of his mood swings, verbal abuse and erratic behavior any longer - so unless that changes you can't spend time with him.

Let him know you have looked into options that can help him, and will support him in any way you can if he ever reaches the point that he's open to receiving help. But for the sake of your own well-being and self-respect, you need to take some time out for now.

Then leave it at that. You then have to work at learning to let go and detach from what your son does/doesn't do with his life. Groups like Nar-Anon can be invaluable in helping you learn how to do that.

Best of Luck

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