Alcoholism and Drug Addiction Help Header

My Son is Addicted to Drugs. He is Lying, Stealing and Just Doesn't Care.

My son is 18 years old. I believe he has been doing drugs for about a year and a half. I just found out a few months ago. I got him help talking to a counsellor and he did a short time in rehab.

He was back into it in less than 2 weeks. Now he has stole from us for the last time - I told him to leave. The worst thing is he is doing this at a neighbours across the street with their 16 year old and some other boys. The parents don't do anything. Now they're letting my son stay there.

My wife thinks we did something wrong. I think its the drugs fault - I don't know. All I know is I want my son to be a good person which I know he can be, and not screw up his life and make more mistakes he will regret later.

I don't know if I should let him mess up or kick his butt like I feel like doing sometimes. I get so angry. Don't get me wrong, I have never hit my family. I just feel so helpless and sad that this is happening. He lost his job, his nice girlfriend and his family is not feeling too good about him right now.

We are praying for him. I would take any advise you might have for me to help my son. I love him and I want him to start caring about the the people who love him. I tried to talk to him. It's like I'm talking to a wall or an empty space. Answer

As a parent all you can do is give your children the right tools and teaching in the hope that one day they will use them wisely and make good decisions with their life.

But ultimately they have to make it happen for themselves by making the right choices and learning from their mistakes. You can't force them to become the person you hope them to - so as a parent you have to learn to detach and let them learn for themselves.

That doesn't mean you shouldn't say or do anything when you see your son destroying his life with drug addiction. Be honest about how you feel, make it clear you'll help get him professional help if he's willing - but at the same time you can't stand by while he steals from you and destroys your home life.

So kicking him out was the right thing to do. Your son has to learn that with undesirable choices (i.e. using drugs, stealing etc.) come undesirable consequences. And if those consequences get bad enough for him - he might start to reconsider his destructive ways and be open to turning his life around.

Apart from that, there isn't a lot you can do. You can't control your son or make him behave in a particular way. Let him know you'll be there for him when he's ready to do something about his addiction, but until then he's on his own.

I wish there was an easier way, but unfortunately there isn't. Some refer to it as tough love, but I think of it as responsible love, because it forces a person to start becoming accountable for their actions. And so they learn that if they keep making poor choices with their life, the results are going to be pretty unpleasant.

So if the consequences of your son's drug addiction start to become bad enough for him, hopefully it will become the catalyst for him to change. All the best and take care.

Comments for My Son is Addicted to Drugs. He is Lying, Stealing and Just Doesn't Care.

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

Nov 22, 2015
Heart broken and scared NEW
by: Claire

God this hits me hard as I am going through it at this very minute it is tearing me apart to watch my 18 year old son doing this I too have kicked him out after he stole from my parents who he was staying with as a final chance, it is so hard to not know where he is and what he is doing if he has a roof over his head or if he is cold and hungry or god forbid lying in a gutter. I have no idea what to do. Broken hearted x

Jul 01, 2013
My son is lost and don't know what to do
by: Anonymous

I my son, it's the best thing that ever happened in my life. I always kept him busy, kept him in sports since he was 3. We attended practices, got together with other families, had parties for the kids and I enjoyed every part of it, so did he, he made great friendships. He turned 16 started doing pot, lost his job, skipped alot of school, almost went to court because of it. I refused to help him with money if he wasn't going to help himself, so he started stealing from me. I just don't want to believe that. I always taught him to respect others and treat others the way you want to be treated, now he has alot of hate, he is not my son, he is a stranger. I am now buying locks and locking up the rest of my belongings. Everytime I turn around things are missing, I have had enough. I don't know what to do, I am so hurt. He is doing nothing in life. I need help, I don't want to lose him.

Oct 30, 2011
my son your son
by: Anonymous

hello, I completely understand were you are coming from! My son is the same, addicted to drugs, it's a sad time for us parents! He's 25 years old and we are only realising the extent of this!! If I told him to leave I would be afraid off the same thing happening to him. Shacking up with people who are only going to have a bad influence on him!! Take him back out of that!! all the best of luck!!

Jul 27, 2011
my son doesn't see what drugs are doing to him
by: Anonymous

He is 19 and everyone tells me he is a good kid, but adults do not trust him, he is not honest and will tell me that he is not home evern when I know he is home. He will say he can not answer his phone becasue he is with friends. He will say he can not join in on family events like birthdays and family get togethers because he is not feeling well. The drugs are keeping him from us and he has choosen it. The drugs are winning. I wish I knew why, I know I love him and prayed for him 20 years ago to be part of our family and some where along the line he got lost. I just want him to know we all still want him part of our famly and miss him. He has the best smile and greatest sense of humor when he is not high on drug. He is so much cooler when he is high on life and enjoying all he can offer others and those that love and respect him when he is not on drugs!

Jul 21, 2011
Learning lesson right along with them...
by: Anonymous

I would only like to add that it is of the utt most importance that parents be a team about issues like these. I am in a similiar situation with both of my older sons and unfortunately while I have chosen the responsible/tough love approach my husband has not. To make matter worse I am the step mom, have been for years but as I am learning it makes little difference how much time I have logged, I am not a bio parent and when sitauations such as these arise it is made very known to me not only by my sons but my husband as well... He has only recently began to even lean a little toward the tough love approach but I am afraid that the damage is already done... I only wish he would have sided with me long ago, or better made the right choice in an effort to ensure our boys did spiral out of control as they are now...

Click here to add your own comments

Return to Drug Alcohol Help Parents Q&A Archive.


FREE E-Course

"10 Essential Steps to Ending a Life of Alcoholism or Drug Addiction ... Permanently!"

This Course is packed full of valuable information and advice for overcoming addiction that you're unlikely to find anywhere else.

And if you subscribe now - we'll throw in a Special eBook that will help immensely in your struggle against addiction.

Don't worry - your e-mail
address is totally secure.
Your details will NEVER be sold and you will NOT be spammed.

What is this?
Add to My Yahoo!
My MSN RSS button
Add to Google

Copyright © 2013 - - All Rights Reserved.