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My Sister an Alcoholic and My Nephew's son a Heroin Addict

by Your sister

I once had a "wonderful" sister who laughed all the time. She cared about herself, all her family members, and her home. She adopted my nephew's son and raised him as her own.

She never married or ever had her own children due to her relationship with a married man that has existed for many years and still is in existence. In recent years, she has put on weight, stopped caring for herself, and her house. She has also gone to Alcoholic Rehab Classes and that didn't help.

My nephew's son is now 21 years old, a heroin addict, and still living with my sister. Nicholas has stolen money, jewellery, gift cards etc. over the years from my sister, mother, and family members. Nicholas's father died just this March 2010. Nicholas stole $200 from his father's wallet as he lay dead before he called the police and even went as far as to brag about it.

My sister has always forgiven him for all his wrong-doings. He tells my sister that he has stopped using heroin and is only now doing marijuana. And of course, she believes him even though he still is stealing.

My mother and I can not seem to get through to her and make her realize that she needs to get help first so that she can help him. Her reply is, "I know!" or "I'm trying to quit!" And by the end of the day she is drunk again.

My mother and I love her very much and it breaks our heart to see her this way. She has always been in denial of her alcoholism. Getting Professional Help is no problem finding - but getting them to get professional help is impossible!

Nicholas's best friend has recently passed away from heroin. My sister is blind to the idea that Nicholas can be next if he doesn't go to rehab. Her reply is, "he's over 18 years old ...I can't make him go!"

I've been told that Addicts come in all shapes and colors, it's easy to be blind when it hits home but we must not be so, so that we can help them. My mother and I are not blind to this and nor are we willing to give up in helping them.

Please, I need help in helping my family members: an Alcoholic and a Heroin Addict at the same time? What can my mother and I do, if they are not willing to help themselves? Thank you.

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Let it go!
by: Feeurpain

Let this go before you spend 30 years of torment and worry as my family has, only to see a nephew verbally abuse my elderly mother, freeload off her, steal her money and tell her the two of us did it, to turn her against us. He lived in her house for over 10 Yrs. after he convinced her to go into a nursing home. He abused her until she got mild dementia. She knew his problem and defended him until the day she died! He totally trashed her home and property, that was in a life estate in our names. Sold her belongings Etc. Moved women in her home, and every drunk and druggie hung out at my wonderful moral parents home. Years of alcoholism and drugs destroys brain cells. They loose the ability to reason, they know more than everyone else, and you will be the first one they turn on. They will get to the point to threaten your life one minute and need your piety the next. They are selfish and weak people who care about no one as much as themselves. Honey, you can only pray for them, distance yourself....before you wind up dead. We had to realize, our family member is not the person we knew growing up. Alcholic destroyed his brain cells, and he cannot be reasoned with. Love from a distance, and LET GO!!! They will get help when people stop enabling them. Sorry this is happening to your family. It is a sin for us to worry and God will help all who calls on him, and he gives everyone the ability to change. Sometimes he uses other people to help them. You and your mother are not the only ones he can use. God bless you all. Prayers and compassion for all of you. Remember...tough love! Charles Stanley. Google it.

young recovering alcoholic and addict
by: chris

man i feel you im 22 years old and im an alcoholic and im an addict iwas addicted to heroin since i was 19 and quit when i was 20 2 months before my 21st birthday, went to rehab got out and kept on drinking and smoking weed but never touched heroin again at least until now ive been almost 2 years without heroin but couldnt stop drinking and smoking weed and when i got drunk i did coke too. Started stealing again and i couldnt stop until 3 months ago that i havent touched anything what helped me was AA and NA its a free program and they dont obligate you to do anything ive been going there for 2 years but i just went to NA for heroin not for the other drugs but the miracle got to me as i kept going back you should suggest that to them

Previous Poster is Right
by: C-P

As the site owner, we are not obliged to remove stories once they have been posted, especially since we allow you to maintain total anonymity. In effect, by posting here, the content now becomes part of this website, so you are no longer in a position to demand how it be used. And because it is relevant and helpful content, we think it is important it remains. If you however still wish to motivate why it be removed, please e-mail: cp [at]

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It's not your decision to make
by: Anonymous

By posting on this website, the 'rights' to this story are no longer yours, so its not a decision for you to make or something you can demand. Your story has been posted without using a name so total anonymity remains assured. No one forced or asked you to post and because your story contains helpful and important insights others can learn from, why would you want it removed?

Deletion Request
by: robin dottie

I have requested that this story please be taken off your web site many many times. I am the author and wish no longer that it be on your web site. I no longer am giving permission for the Alcolism and drug Addiction Help web site to display this story for the public to view now or in the future. Please delete. Thank you.

Need to want help
by: Anonymous

If your sister and nephew don't really want to be helped - the tragedy is that despite all the facilities out there ready and willing to help them, there really isn't much you can do. Because overcoming alcoholism or drug addiction requires willingness on the part of the addict to be able to do so successfully. You don't just go for treatment and suddenly become miraculously cured. Addiction is primarily a spiritual problem, and so requires a spiritual, mental and emotional transformation to truly beat it. And that takes effort and work. And if someone doesn't put in the effort and work - no matter how good the treatment they get, they'll never change. It's just one of the sad realities of addiction.

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