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My Mother is a Drug Addict, My Father an Alcoholic: My Struggle Because of My Parents

by Heather
(Bear, Delaware)

I'm 17 years old and have a brother who is almost 14. My parents got divorced when I was 7. My father immediately remarried and had two other children; my brother is 7 and my sister is 9.

My mom has been in and out of my life for so long ... she finally started coming into my life, but I have walked away from her many times because my mother is an addict to anything you can name - right now it's crack/coke.

What makes it worse is 4 years ago she disappeared from my life completely ... I know I should of been happy but I wasn't. I always jumped when the phone rang and not because I thought it was her ... I thought it might be someone telling me she was dead somewhere. She has put me and my brother through hell.

My mother has been beaten in front of me and I was the one to clean her up. After a while I got tired of it and I moved in with my dad when I was 8 but still seen my mom every other weekend.

She finally reappeared in my life again 3 months ago. After 4 years of silence. When I saw her she was acting weird and I knew she was doing something. Every 15-20 mins, if that, she had to stop and go into a bathroom. We were out and she did it right in front of me - crack.

I just stopped and froze, she said "What? You're old enough to know what this is." I said, "When is your daughter ever old enough to see her mother do any drug?"

I walked away strong - no tears. I didn't show emotion. I walked away that day. I heard two weeks ago she was in prison and won't be out until this September 3rd. She has been writing me and I have no idea what to say or do. I don't want to ignore her because that is so hard - I don't want to have to do that. I love her and want her to be apart of my life, but will she ever change her ways?

My father is an abusive alcoholic and I moved out. I now live with no family, except for my boyfriends they treat me like their own. I feel loved, but I still miss my family. My dad has punched me in the face because He got so drunk. I missed days of school and now social services are involved.

I hope parents see what they put their kids through and mother's out there who do this to their children (it takes a lot more to be a mother then just giving birth). I told my mother that. I hope this proves a point and shows other kids out there that there are other people with problems. Just try to keep it in your head that there are people who have it worse.

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hey my mom is a drug addict she is adicted to fentanyl patches she takes like 7 a day when she is only aloud to take one every 3 days.she gets high all the time she says that she is always going to get help but she never has. I been dealing with this since i was 5 and im 15 now after i got out of foster care and she has been doing it ever since i am alway depressed but im scard to tell people and DCF is in my life right now but they dont know that she has the problem so i have to lie because im scard i will go back to the foster home again. but its ok because i know that i will make it in life and have a happy life with out her.

by: iwishiwasdead

hi my mom is a drug addict too and im only 11 years old ever since i was was a baby she did crack and i hate it it has caused so much problems in my life first off my parents are divorced i live with mom and my step dad my mom always steals money for grocories and uses it for drugs and what not . Any way my life is horrible. she does it every single daY i hate seeing it did i mention there id 2 other kids in the houe one is 1 and the other is 3 bye./

my mom
by: Kaitlyn

My mom started becoming an alcoholic when i was 14 i know this isnt as bad as your story,I am also 17 now but its hard to going from having someone completely in your life to just abandoning you and your three little sisters to go live with her boyfriend in another city.Ever since i was 9 every year there is some big drama involving her and no one else can have anything wrong she just HAD to be the center of attention. She finally got diagnosed with depression and got on pills,and got addicted to them. She wasnt even close to being herself anymore and she was taking care of my baby sisters. I would come home from school and she would be crazy and get in fights with EVERYONE around. we have even gotten into physical fights. finally after a couple years of this she just up and left. I barely see her anymore and i have no one to rely on,i dont have a dad or any other close family except my grandma who does the best she can to help but still lives far's hard going through my senior year in highschool with no one there supporting me,helping me figure out college or anything.The only good that has come from this is i have become a lot more independent. I want my mom to get better every day and im always hoping she will,she went from a great loving caring mother to someone i dont even know anymore.even when I brought my boyfriend there to stay for thanksgiving she and her boyfriend got drunk and fought and he cussed her out and was acting crazy,it was so embarrassing I just wanted to cry but i kept strong and tried to ignore it.I dont feel like anyone around me understand what i'm going through and how alone I am.I feel like because of her my life has been hell and im being denied the experiences i could have had if she was here like college and prom. When i finally do give in and make plans with her she ditches me and makes some sad accuse like i'm going to get help and to get treatment,but nothing ever changes.I just want her to be there for me and i'm so sick of being alone and trying to figure out everything by myself. I really just want my mom back.

I had to walk away
by: Alexa

I so feel for you! My Mom indirectly caused the death of my Dad. He drank to cope with her pill addiction and ultimately succumbed to cirrohsis and SHE still goes on. I have had to walk away for health reasons cause by the extreme stress of trying to deal with her. Her own mom is 96 yrs old and walked long ago. Her 71 yr old sister has done the same. I was the last one standing and have been off work for almost 2 years dealing with the emotional trauma of Dad and the realization she never NEEDED the pills for any medical reason as claimed, just for the high. I do feel better leaving her, she has caused so much destruction throughout our family. My hardest hurdle these days is friends and others 'judging me' for walking away. I have been told I am such a strong person, stronger than most of my friends emotionally, but everyone can break. I pray you find your way to protect yourself, your family, and your life itself!

When you are fighting harder for their 'sobriety' than they just might be time for you to walk away too.

You cannot force her to straighten out! Hopefully she will be ready one day and contact you, but please try not to be the one to enable her...I think that would leave you living with the ultimate guilt in the end.

Be strong and I hope you find your way...I truly do. I know the pain of being the child of a lifelong addict. It breaks your heart a little every day! My very best wishes that you find YOUR way through!

Hard story
by: Anonymous

That's an incredibly difficult situation to go through - the only answer I can give is to seek Jesus :)

by: Anonymous

heather, your story is breaking my heart. do not blame yourself for your parent's problems. keep your head up and make yourself stronger than they are. addicts have no control of the stupid things they do but you have control of making a great life for yourself. it hurts having parents like this but make it your goal in life not to follow their lead. stay in school and go to college or learn a trade. you sound like a smart and strong young lady. you can do it. if you find a profession, you can support yourself and be on the road to an independent and happy life. YOU CAN DO IT!!!!! love your parents but don't let them ruin your dreams. find a path for yourself and follow it. you will be a great parent, as you are already mature beyond your years. try to keep your siblings on the same good path that you are on. caryn

by: C-P

Hi Heather, it's tragic to hear your story and how your parents' addictions have affected you. Addiction is a selfish disease and that's why your mother will always put her own needs first while she is still using drugs. Don't take it personally and understand it has nothing to do with you. Know too, that until she is ready to and wants to change, her behaviour is simply going to continue as is. I know you'd like your mother to be a part of your life, but don't get your hopes up for that happening while she is still using. If I was you I'd simply tell her, you want her a part of your life - but until she gets help and sorts her life out, you don't want anything to do with her. You need to focus on finding your own happiness and not let your mother's choices and destructive behaviours get in the way of that. I know it's not easy, but you have to try. Unfortunately life sometimes deals us a difficult pack of cards - you've had it hard with your parents - but use that as motivation to make the most out of your life and to really try and make a difference. Good Luck, You sound like an amazing girl.

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