My Husband's Drug Addiction. He's Now Fallen In Love With Someone Else in Early Recovery
My husband is a meth addict in early recovery, while attending court ordered NA meetings, he fell in love with an early recovering (1 week clean) black heroin, married, felon, 21 year old girl - my husband is 42 years old. Togheter we have a 17 year old daugther, the new love of my husband's attention is only 3 years older than my daughter!
My question is this true love? We are currently separated and heading for divorce, and even though I still have feelings for him, I could never take him back after his betrayal. I'm just thinking of my daughter, because even though he was a lousy husband - he is been a great father.
My daughter lives with him for practical reasons and don't want the influence of this type of person (Dad's girlfriend) around her)
Can someone please give me some advise? please!!!.
Hi Gabriela. Unfortunately you can't change or control your husband falling in love with someone else. Whether it's real love or not one just doesn't know, and the only person who can really answer that question is your husband.
Addicts in early recovery are especially vulnerable because they're having to face up to issues of their past and start a new way of life - so there is a lot going on for them emotionally. That's why your husband may feel he shares some kind of connection with this girl, because she may be experiencing similar emotions to his, hence the development of their love affair.
It's not our place to judge what your husband has done, but there is a reason that it's recommended addicts try and stay out of a relationship for the first year of their recovery. Because all it ultimately does is put him at higher risk of relapse, since he doesn't yet have the emotional maturity to deal with being in a new relationship.
So his decision to enter into this relationship goes against everything he will have been taught at rehab, and has to leave one questioning how serious he is about his recovery?
Be that as it may those are things you don't have any control over, and maybe it turns out to be a blessing for you because it forces you to also make a new start. The question is though what impact this will have on your daughter. She's 17 so she's old enough to hopefully be honest with you about how she feels, and the effect this is having on her.
Talk to her and find out what she thinks/feels. If she's unhappy, get her out of there. Your daughter's well-being needs to be your priority, so if that is in any way going to be compromised by continuing to live with your husband, then you'll need to make other arrangements.
All the Best