My Husband's an Alcoholic and I Can't Cope

by Jean
(UK)

My partner is an alcoholic and just seems to accept the fact, and will not get any help. My life is a nightmare - I can not trust him one bit. Every time he walks out the door I am on edge, as even a quick visit to the shop can end up with him going on a drinking binge.

If I mention anything about it he gets aggressive, and has got violent, and on occasion the police have been called, but if I don't say anything he thinks that I accept the situation which of course I don't.

I really don't think I can cope anymore, I can't leave, as every bit of money we have has been spent over the years in the pub, and he has broken me down so much that I just haven't got the confidence to go out on my own.

I have no friends left anymore as he has been rude and abusive to them, and my family are all dead. I really cant see the point of carrying on anymore, if I am going to be stuck with this for the rest of my life.

Answer

Hi Jean

As terrible as things are for you right now - never lose hope that things can change for you, and that you will one day be able to find happiness again.

I totally understand that right now you feel like things are hopeless and that you have no other options, but despite that I don't want you to give up.

Because there are people out there who can support you and be there for you in these troubled times and help you get through this. And they are people who know exactly what you're going through because they are/have gone through what you are going through now.

You'll find these people at a group called Al Anon - which is for family members of alcoholics like yourself. Google them, contact them, and get yourself to one of their support groups immediately.

You'll gain so much strength and confidence by surrounding yourself with good people who understand what you're going through, which is exactly what you'll get from Al Anon. You don't have to go through this alone. And with that backing and support, suddenly things won't seem so hopeless anymore, and you may even surprise yourself at the confidence you'll gain to make changes that now seem totally daunting.

Remember you didn't cause your husband's alcoholism, you can't cure it, nor can you control it. But you can control what you do. And the best thing for you to do right now is surround yourself with people who can support and help you get through this. You'll find them at Al Anon.

Stay strong, never lose hope and know that you can get through this. I know you can.

God Bless

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