My Husband is an Alcoholic - Should that Stop Me from Also Drinking?
I am very curious to know if other people feel like I do? My husband is an alcoholic and attends AA and I am a member of Al Anon. I feel insane at times. I guess this is normal because that is why we go to meetings is because the alcohol has destroyed our lives and relationships.
I feel very cheated, and resentful which I am working on with my steps, however I don't know what is right and wrong anymore. I pray for Gods will and not mine. I like to have a glass of wine with my meal or after a long day .... but feel like a hypocrite when I do.
When I get to go to a party I feel judged by others if I have a drink because my husband is an alcoholic! Then in the morning after I regret it like I have done something terrible. Also my husband acts the part of a recovering AA but drinks daily. Some days I know what is right and some days I am totally confused???
Alcoholism is your husbands disease, not yours, so if you like to have the odd drink and drink alcohol responsibly, you have nothing to feel guilty about, despite what others may think.
The resentment you're currently experiencing is also normal and is a natural part of the healing process. Being married to an alcoholic
will create a lot of wounds - and so working your own steps the way you are, is a journey towards healing, which will have plenty of bumps and frustrations along the way.
Don't be angry at yourself for experiencing those, it's a natural part of your recovery/healing process. You and your husband each need to focus on your own recovery processes independently. He's responsible for his, and you for yours.
The fact that he still drinks daily, when he knows as an alcoholic abstinence is the only way is worrying, but that's something you have no control over. It doesn't seem like he's yet read to commit to a life of recovery, but don't let that stop you from committing to your path.
Just don't let the resentment stop you from focusing on your own healing/recovery process because it can easily derail you and take you back to the mental/emotional place you're trying to move beyond.
If your husband wants to stay 'sick' that's his choice - but you don't want to let him take you there again as well. I just don't believe any kind of relationship is worth it and if you find that happening, you need to take a hard look at things and decide what is best for you long term. Stay strong and good luck!