My Husband and I Are Both Addicted to Amphetamines

by desperate wife
(Queensland, Australia)

My husband and I are both addicted to amphetamines. He has been an addict for over 25 years and I have been an addict for 15 years with a 3 year break (we split up). He had been to rehab several times before I met him 17 years ago.

We both want to give up using the drug but we are finding it really hard as one of us usually encourages the other to use. We are currently using weekly, spending $200 each time.

I dont have access to it unless he buys it. When we are not around each other I don't use. He uses regardless. I love him very much, but I feel the only way to get clean is to leave him.

Is it possible for us as a couple to get clean together? Where do we start? What do we need to do? We are both in our forties.

Alcoholism-and-Drug-Addiction-Help.com Answer

Sure both of you can get clean together, but only if you're BOTH committed. So if your husband isn't ready to really deal with his addiction, he is always just going to drag you down.

You can't make someone change if they don't really want to. Your husband has to really want to do it, otherwise you're just wasting your time. So you may have to give him an ultimatum - 'get clean and turn your life around, or there is no future for our relationship.'

And you can tell him this is a journey you can take together because you're both in the same position, so maybe it will make it easier for him to confront his demons that way. But at the same time you don't want him to be dependent on you, because ultimately he has to take responsibility for his health and well-being if he's ever going to change successfully.

The way to get clean is to start by trying to get yourselves into treatment, i.e. rehab, and then from there commit to a life of sobriety by finding some form of addiction recovery program to keep working at. Because rehab is only a stepping stone ... working at your recovery is what separates those who stay clean and flourish, from those that don't.

Whatever you do though, don't compromise your well-being for the sake of your husband. If it's clear he isn't committed to really changing or overcoming his drug addiction, cut him loose. Some relationships are unfortunately toxic, and the only way to change that is to cut oneself loose.

So you have to be honest with yourself - and don't be scared to make the changes you need to if it becomes apparent your husband isn't going to confront his addiction with honesty and determination.

Good Luck

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