My Heroin Habit: I Just Want To Tell Someone!
I've been using heroin (and morphine if H is unavailable) for about two years now, however I do not consider myself an addict. I use two or three times a month and never experience withdrawal symptoms or physical cravings.
Using has not impacted on my work or social life negatively as of yet, although it is worrisome that I have become so adept at lying. Only two people know that I use, and these are the people I buy off. I love getting to their house, having a shot, and feeling everything melt away into bliss.
My dealers are baffled at my ability to keep my habit a once a week - or more commonly once a fortnight occurrence - and I do understand that it is rare to use H for so long without developing a crippling addiction. The problem is that I've always leaned towards a sort of limp existentialism and see no point in quitting or cutting down, even though I've seen smack complicate the lives of my friends.
I'm still young and beautiful and I don't want to become an addict, but at the same time I see nothing too appealing about the "straight" life and feel that anyone who has alcohol as their drug of choice needs a lesson in the subject of pleasures. What should I do?
You might think you have your heroin use under control at the moment, but that can change in a flash, and next thing you know you've got yourself a serious addiction. It's a dangerous game to be playing and one that has the potential to go horribly wrong.
You need to also understand that addiction is progressive ... and without realising you can very quickly cross the line from being 'in control' to having totally lost it. So while the pleasure you get from that high in the short-term is no doubt fantastic, considering the risks, is it really worth it?
If you're looking to find meaning and purpose to your life, heroin is not the way to do it. It kills and destroys lives in the worst possible way. Why not look into things like meditation and other spiritual/eastern philosophies through which you will find real meaning and purpose?
Look, maybe you're one of the lucky one's that don't develop an addiction. But the underlying cause ... the feeling that something is missing, an emptiness, will never be solved by using heroin. You're looking in the wrong places.
So why not direct your energy to pursuits more life-affirming and positive ... and through which you are far more likely to find real meaning and purpose. You might have to travel down a few different paths until you find something you resonate with, but as the saying goes, 'when the student is ready, the teacher appears.'
All the Best