My Fiance Is A Prescription Addict and His Family Is In Denial
My fiancé, well EX now, is the father of my 14 month old son. He has had a history of prescription medication abuse and just recently started back on them. He has several people after him for money and they are even showing up at his house.
I have known my ex for 6 years and notice the signs of addiction and when he is on something, his family on the other hand is completely naive! (sister and mother mostly). I contacted his sister to let her know the severity of what's really going on and she totally dismissed any responsibility he has for his own actions, she blamed it all on me!
I tried telling her "your brother needs help or something is going to happen to him" and her response was "she'll take care of it." Both his mother and sister refuse to accept the fact that he is an addict and feel that he is just self-medicating himself because he's depressed ... well duh that's what addicts do!
I refuse to bring our son around him at this point because as a mother I need to protect my child! His sister does not understand that and tells me he is a good dad and loves his son. What do I do I am lost, stuck and have run out of options? If his own blood can't stop enabling his addiction they will lose him and I can't seem to get that through their head.
Trying to convince his family is a battle you're not going to win. If they can't, or rather won't, open their eyes to the reality of what's going on with your ex and his drug abuse - it's a lost cause trying to convince them otherwise.
Your focus needs to be on doing what is in your son's best interests. And that's something you need to make clear to them. Exposing your son to someone who is under the influence of drugs, is not something any responsible parent should be doing.
Don't close the door on your ex playing an active part in your son's life - but it has to be on the condition that he's clean and serious about accepting responsibility for behaving in a way a parent should, i.e. be an example and instil good values.
So don't get caught in a war of words with his family. Tell them the ball is in your ex's court and if he can show he's turned his life around, you'd want him to play a big part in your son's life. But right now your son is the priority and your job is to act in his best interests.
It's next to impossible to be a good parent and give a child what they need if in active addiction. There's just too much toxic behavior and negativity that go with it. So you've done the right thing.