My Ex is Addicted to Drugs, So I Told His Parents and Now He Hates Me. What Do I Do:?
Please keep in mind, I am 18 and my Ex is only 17, and a Junior in high school. It began about 7 months ago. He has had bad run ins with drugs like marijuana and pills for nearly 3 years. Last summer when I went out of town for 3 weeks, he began using Cocaine and Xanax. He broke up with me, for 3-4 weeks, and then we got back together after he claimed to have fixed everything.
I was stupid, and of course believed him because I loved him so much. Then I found out that he was selling drugs to people, I confronted him about it. He merely stated that he was just getting rid of what he had, then he would stop. Sure enough, he stopped once everything was gone, and for a while everything was alright.
Last Saturday, he got messed up on some pills (he won't tell me what kind) and slept with some girl, a long time old friend of his. And then he broke up with me, saying that it was the "honorable" thing to do after what he did to me.
It took me days, but I decided that I needed to tell his mother. I told her everything, about the Cocaine and his drug-dealing. I've never heard someone so heart-broken. Yesterday he texted me, saying how I ruined his family. His father won't even talk to him now, and it's all my fault. He won't even try to understand that I was just trying to give him the help he needs.
He told me he has not taken any drugs since that Saturday night, but to me it does not change the fact that he needs help. I'm so heart-broken. He said I ruined whatever chance I had at getting back together. I'm not too upset about that, because I deserve more but the things he says just hurts.
How am I supposed to move on? I keep questioning whether or not I have done the right thing. I know that his family's reaction is not my fault, but I feel horrible for hurting him. Please help me.
You did the right thing. If you were a parent, wouldn't you want to know if your child were doing and dealing drugs? Because if no one knows and confronts him - how is he ever going to get help?
You're just the easy target for your ex because by blaming you, he doesn't have to take responsibility for anything. He's the one that's doing drugs, dealing and being unfaithful. So he's brought this all on himself.
Of course what he says is going to hurt, but remember you did the right thing and his parents deserve to know about what he's doing, because how can they ever try help him if they don't know?
In time things will get easier. You have to focus on moving on with your life and putting this all behind you. Addicts are good at manipulating and shifting blame onto others, so understand that this is just part of his addiction and that you have to be patient because time heals all wounds. Be Strong and Take Care