Alcoholism and Drug Addiction Help Header

My Drug Addicted Son is Out of Control. How Do I Handle This?

by Jennifer
(Jacksonville, fl )

My alcoholic/Drug Addicted Son is Out of Control. How Do I Handle This? his only 21 and he gets drunk and causes a lot of problems with me and my husband.

There has been lots of confrontation. I would like to know how to handle this? I love my husband but I also love my son. What can I do?


Hi Jennifer

You set clear boundaries with your son and tell him if he wants to continue living with you (it sounds like he is), he has to meet certain conditions:

1) He has a month in which to try and sort out his alcoholism and drug addiction.

2) If he hasn't done that - he has to get professional help, i.e. go for proper drug and alcoholism addiction treatment.

3) If he wishes to continue living with you, he has to get a job, pay rent, and do his bit around the house. In other words you're trying to teach him that the free ride he's had up until now is over.

4) Whenever he's in your house, he has to speak to and treat you and your husband with respect.

Failing these things, your son can no longer live with you and he'll have to find his own way. Essentially doing these things is about trying to teach your son responsibility and becoming accountable for his actions.

They may not work (in fact they probably won't) - because your son has to want to listen to you and has to want to change. But they will teach him that poor choices have undesirable consequences and that if he wants to make something of his life, at some point he's going to have to change.

Dealing with an out of control child isn't easy. But you have to be firm and take a stand. You can't control your son anymore, but you can try and make sure you don't allow him to become between you and your husband by practising 'responsible/tough love'.

All the Best

Comments for My Drug Addicted Son is Out of Control. How Do I Handle This?

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

Mar 26, 2011
I dont know what to do
by: Anonymous

its not that easy! Im in tears trying to figure out what to do. My exhusband the father of my 3 kids..... is getting worse, and i love him so much..i already applied all of those rules and i even followed through with the divorce.. i cant find proffesional help that will help him he has no insurance and he wont go.... although today he is passing out from the withdrawl and pooping blood. i worry about my kids hearts and their future. i took them out of the environment..but not having a dad and/or loosing a parent at delicate ages of 4 8 and 10 is also hard. im hurting for them all. for my exhusband, for my kids.... i am so not sure what to do. My heart is so hurt. he was never like this.

Feb 22, 2011
What do I do about my Son?
by: Anonymous

My son says he will not deal or do drugs anymore. He says he needs his home and family and says has been sober. He agreed to a program last week but he checked out 22 hours later and said it was BS and those ppl were worse off than him and he didn't need that. He blew that. He'll be 23 in a month. He has no car no job and no where to live.He bounces around and will go where a friend will let him stay for the night. He is full of anger and holding back tears because we won't let him live at home and help him at home. We fear stealing, drug thugs, other family members, fits of rages etc. He blames us b/c we took away everything. He is very disrespectful (verbally abusive) when he is angry which tells me he is not truly repentant. On the other hand my mind says "what if"? What if we did let him back in. My husband is against it for our own protection which makes my son hate him even more. My husband was verbally abusive too when he got mad. Not really so much now. My son uses that for fuel and says if it weren't for him he would be allowed back in. I'm stuck

Click here to add your own comments

Return to Drug Alcohol Help Parents Q&A Archive.


FREE E-Course

"10 Essential Steps to Ending a Life of Alcoholism or Drug Addiction ... Permanently!"

This Course is packed full of valuable information and advice for overcoming addiction that you're unlikely to find anywhere else.

And if you subscribe now - we'll throw in a Special eBook that will help immensely in your struggle against addiction.

Don't worry - your e-mail
address is totally secure.
Your details will NEVER be sold and you will NOT be spammed.

What is this?
Add to My Yahoo!
My MSN RSS button
Add to Google

Copyright © 2013 - - All Rights Reserved.