My Daughter is an Alcoholic and Single Parent. How Can I Best Help My Granddaughter?
My 28 year old daughter is an alcoholic. She is the mother of my 3 year old granddaughter. She is a single parent. How can I best help my granddaughter? I realize until my daughter wants help there is not much I can do about her. I have tried for years.
I am so worried about my granddaughter and need to know how I can best help her. Thanks so much for your time and I look forward to your reply.
Bringing up a young child in an alcoholic home is totally unfair on the child and can cause lasting damage.
Children need love, stability, attention etc. to thrive and grow up healthy, which is in most cases obviously difficult to provide as an alcoholic parent.
So if things are really bad with your daughter, can you not come to some kind of arrangement with her so that you take on the primary responsibility of looking after your granddaughter?
It's obviously won't be an easy conversation to have with your daughter, but tell her you want what is best for your granddaughter and want to provide her with a more harmonious environment - which your daughter simply can't provide right now. That'll give her time to get help and straighten her life out - and once she's done that, she can then 'take over' again.
Position it as only being a temporary thing and that you still want your daughter involved, but that it'll be easier for her to address her problem without the burden of also having a young child to bring up.
You don't say how bad things are with your daughter or how her drinking is affecting her parenting - but if it's bad enough and your daughter is unable to be a fit mother, you'd have to consider getting social services involved and look at taking over custody of bringing up your granddaughter, if she didn't agree to your suggestion.
Look, it really depends on how bad your daughter's drinking is and how it's affecting her job as a mother. If she's still doing a pretty good job, you have to appeal to her reason and offer to help where you can, to maybe help take the load off. If things are bad, use a tougher approach.
A child needs their mother, dependent on course on the mother's ability to take care of and look after the child. So it's difficult to comment not knowing the full picture. I've given a few suggestions that cover most of the possibilities, but ultimately use your common sense to decide what the best approach will be.
Best of Luck and Take Care