My Brother is an Alcoholic - Should I Kick Him out?
My brother has been living with me for the past several months. He is unemployed and a convicted felon. His daughter accused him of molesting her and he was convicted even though she later recanted most of her testimony.
In prison - which he served 14 months -- I insisted he be involved in an alcohol program. He was sent to a prison specializing in an alcoholic rehab program and then sent to a prison close to home. After getting released, he had no where to go except for my home since his wife did not wish for him to live with her.
He did not begin to drink until the last few weeks. How do I handle this? He has no means of support nor does his wife want him living at his old home. If he is drinking, do I kick him out and let the law have its way or do I ignore the problem and let him drink?
Any help you can give would be appreciated!
Ignoring the problem is the worst thing you can do - because all that effectively does is enable his behavior by not having to be held accountable for something he knows he shouldn't do, considering his addiction.
You might want to give him one chance by laying clear boundaries in place in that unless he stays sober and actively works a 12-step program like AA - he's out. No questions! Then it's up to him to decide if he's going to start taking recovery more seriously.
But you certainly wouldn't be in the wrong if you kicked him out straight away either. Your brother needs to learn to take TOTAL responsibility for his life - and realise the only person who can affect positive change in his life, is himself.
By effectively supporting him and allowing his drinking, there is no motivation for him to take that process seriously. The sad thing with addictions is it usually takes things to become bad enough, for a person to become desperate enough to change.
You'd think having spent time in prison would have gotten him to that point, but addiction is a cunning, baffling, powerful and totally insane disease - from which some need to delve to horrendous depths before they're ready to recover ... and some unfortunately never do.
So whatever your decision, understand that your brother's life isn't your responsibility. That does sound harsh, but is unfortunately also true.
Best of Luck