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My Brother is Addicted to Drugs, Cocaine and Rohypnol, and Alcohol. What do I do?

by Barton
(Hong Kong)

He has been abusing cocaine for 2 months or 2 years - I am not sure because i cannot trust what he says. He also abuses Rohypnol by taking 10 at a time (It is a prescribed medication for sleeping).

He also has ADHD and argues with my dad, in the past 3-4 arguments, he physically abused my dad, each time getting worse. The last arguement which was 2 days ago, he hit my dads head and arm several times with a hollow metal stick. He cannot control his anger.

Sometimes, he threatens suicide by jumping off. He has also taken kitchen knives several times... After every arguement, he makes blank promises

He admits to my dad that he abuses cocaine, but doesn't admit that he is addicted and simply says he can easily not use it. But that is obviously a lie because he constantly needs money and finds pathetic excuses and asks my grandparents as well.

He is 21 and he hasnt even finished high school, he is also on bail so he cannot leave the country. He wakes up in the afternoon 4, or 5 sometimes 6 and I dont know when he sleeps. Im really scared and I really care for him, I always want to just leave the country and leave him here, but that won't be the right thing to do. Without those drugs and alcohol, my brother is a great, and funny person. But his friends are all addicts and I see no way in changing his life...

I really want him to go to rehab, but what if he doesnt want to? How do we as a family cope with situations like these? Answer

The reality is there is very little you can do for someone that doesn't want to help themselves. Because until your brother is ready to take responsibility for his life and WANTS to do something about his drug addiction, he's just going to continue down his self-destructive path.

The only thing you as a family can do is start putting boundaries in place and make it clear to your brother that until he's ready to address his addiction, he's on his own. Tough love some people like to call it. And if he ever abuses your Dad again, you call the police immediately and have him arrested.

You can't just stand by and let your brother walk all over you and do as he pleases. You may not be able to control your brother's choices, but you can control how you as a family respond, and that should be to draw a line in the sand and say enough is enough.

Make it clear you love him and want the best for him - but that if he doesn't sort his life out and gets the help he needs, it's time he moves out and starts fending for himself. Because if the consequences of his addiction get bad enough for him, he may start taking the idea of changing more seriously.

Apart from that there isn't much else you can do. For some, an intervention can work, but there are still no guarantees. Unless your brother hits bottom and is ready to change, things are just going to continue as they are.

All the Best

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