My Boyfriend's Drinking Habits
My boyfriend of almost one year is a social drinker, such as myself. As long as he doesn't drink any hard alcohol, there is never a problem, but the second he takes a sip of anything other than beer or wine, it starts a three day binge for him.
To the point that he loses all sense of reality and becomes a lunatic. I have not seen him hurt anyone, but there is an anger built up inside of him that makes him scream and yell. Sometimes he will even scream and yell at himself as though he is having a conversation with himself.
The level of drunkenness seems to make him hallucinate, maybe?? I have never had to deal with this before. There is alcoholism in my family, but I was never directly affected by it. I have chosen to attend an "open" Al-Anon meeting tomorrow night to figure out how I can deal with the emotions from the most recent episode. This seems to occur every 2 to 3 months.
I am so lost with my emotions right now that I don't want to try to help, afraid it will enable him, not help him enough or end up doing all the "help" work for him. Does this make sense to anyone else???
Al-Anon is a great place for you to go, because not only will you gain clarity about how to handle your boyfriend's drinking problem, but you'll have the support of others who understand what you're going through - and that can make a world of difference.
The bottom line is, your boyfriend has to want to help himself if anything is ever going to change. You need to communicate your feelings about his drinking honestly so that he knows how his drinking upsets you, while at the same time put boundaries in place so that you start holding him accountable for his behavior.
Whether that will change anything, you just don't know, but at least you won't be standing passively by hoping that things somehow miraculously change. And if they don't, and your boyfriend's erratic drinking patterns don't change, then you need to be honest about whether your relationship has a long-term future.
Al-Anon is an excellent start though. You'll learn an incredible amount. But remember your future is in your hands, and no one can change your boyfriend. It has to come from him.