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My Alcoholic Mother Is In Dire Need of Help. I Need Advice.

Hello. I hope that you can offer some advice to me. I am a resident in Vermont, I live here with my 4 year old son - I am from the UK and have been here for 10 years. My question is about a desperate situation with my mother in the UK.

She is an alcoholic on the verge of death - 60 years old and she has been drinking her entire life. She has recently been admitted to hospital for fractured skull, arms and a broken nose and they put her through detox but will not fund her going to a rehab facility.

I keep thinking that if I could get her here to Vermont and find a place that would take her on a sliding scale or for no cost (it would have to be residential) that this might be a good first step but I don't even know where to start.

My siblings have cut her off because she is too stresful for them. My brother recently managed to get in to her apartment (she lives alone and has not let anybody in for months) and it is covered in feces and vomit. They are out of their depth and I do not have the financial means to help (I am a single parent in school full time - I am 33 years old)

Can you point me in the right direction? I am so worried. She used to be a nurse practitioner and has even been knighted by the queen of england for her work with the homeless population in Wales. It is killing me to imagine her alone and living in depression and filth. Thanks so much.
Bethan Answer

If your mother has become a danger to herself, you need to try and get her sectioned. Your family in the UK need to speak to her G.P. and he/she can then try and facilitate that. Because it looks like if you don't, she's likely to kill herself.

Am not sure if getting her to Canada would help, because I don't think a rehab facility in Canada is just going to take on a patient pro bono, especially with your mother being a foreigner. It's up to you to do that research though, because if it is possible, it's certainly an avenue you can explore further.

But right now, as a matter of urgency, getting her sectioned is probably the best thing you can do. Being institutionalized looks like the best way to save her life in the short-term, because she'll be under supervision 24/7, and they'll help her dry out.

That should also hopefully help her mental state, and from there you can then look at alcoholism rehab centers or programs both in the UK and maybe also Canada. Being where you are though does make it very difficult, because if the rest of your family aren't prepared to step in, it may mean you having to jump on a plane to try and facilitate everything.

The reality is though, your mother is going to have to find the will to live from somewhere, because right now it seems she's lost that. And even if you do get her help, if she doesn't regain that, you'll be right back to square one because she'll start drinking again first chance she gets.

Hopefully you can find your Mom the help she needs. It's also going to be a lot easier if you get the whole family working together to try and make it happen. So you may need to get to the UK and pull everyone together, to get your Mom into an environment where she's no longer a threat to herself.

Best of Luck

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