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My 28 Year Old Son Says His Pain is So Intense He Needs the Drugs. What Do I Do?

by hawaiik

My 28 year old son has had drug problems for many years. He has been to 3 rehabs, the last which cost over 20 thousand dollars, and none of which had any lasting effect. He is now living with us due to being hit by a hit & run driver in June while riding his Mtn Bike home.

This accident has caused him to become more addicted than ever. He says his pain is so intense he cannot live without the drugs (prescription)- and what he has isn't even controlling his pain. I see him over medicating all the time. He had to have hand surgery and has 3 compression fractures in his vertebrae in addition to knee & shoulder & other injuries.

But Can he be in so much pain after 4 months that blacking out is the only way he gets relief? I admit he has real physical medical issues, but he is so loaded half the time he can't function enough to deal with them. He says Rehab doesn't work and to be honest I have to agree with him. The last one was a joke and just basically ripped our family off.

I don't know what to do I feel like a terrible Mother asking him to leave while he is injured, but it has been 4 1/2 months since the accident and he is not getting better.


Giving your son drugs now, just adds to his problem and doesn't contribute to his ever getting better.

Yes the drug addiction withdrawal process can be very painful and sometimes even life threatening if not done correctly - but your son needs to go through it to get clean. So your best bet is to get your son into hospital where they can help him withdraw and detox in a supervised and safe environment.

From there then its up to your son to make his way and work at his recovery from drug addiction. Rehab isn't a magic cure to addiction - it simply equips a person with the necessary 'tools' to build a new life for themselves. So don't let your son hoodwink you into thinking its the rehabs fault and that it wasn't very good.

Rehab is merely the starting point. Staying clean and successfully overcoming drug addiction in the long-term entails applying everything taught to you at rehab, as well as following a proper addiction recovery program like NA to change those self-destructive mental and behavioral patterns that led one down the road of addiction in the first place.

So take your son to hospital where they can help him detox and get over the worst of the withdrawals. Then make it clear to your son, he needs to take responsibility for his life and find his own way. He has the knowledge and tools acquired from his time in rehab, there are programs like NA ready and waiting to help him - so now he needs to put in the work to make the changes required to turn his life around.

Whatever you do don't become an enabler to his continued drug use. All it does is keep him stuck in the cycle of addiction longer than he should be.

Best of Luck

Comments for My 28 Year Old Son Says His Pain is So Intense He Needs the Drugs. What Do I Do?

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Oct 21, 2011
First time in rehab
by: Anonymous

This is the first time my son has been in a rehab place. It is a long term treatment center, cost me everything I had to get him there and I pray it works as this is the only shot we have at it. I slowly prepared him for this trip and asked him to trust me and that it was the best thing for him. He went through hospital detox due to the possible severity of withdrawal and then to the facility. He has been there now for 16 days and today was the worst communication yet. He says I tricked him, betrayed him and he will never forgive me as well as he despises me. I assured him I was honest with him and love him with all my heart but assured him that he can never come back to the way it was because it is not okay. This has been very painful but feel I have to be clear about it. Any advice?

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