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My 26 yr Old-Step Son Is an Alcoholic and We Seem Not To Be Able To Help Him.

by Pedro

He almost died 9 months ago with alcoholic poisoning and alcohol induced hepatitis and . was in the hospital for 6 weeks and went to rehab for one week. He then went to a counselor once and stopped because in his mind he knows better than the counselor.

He is headed for self destruction and we do not know how to help him. He has a lot of resentment towards his mother and when intoxicated lashes out verbally against her. His father/mother divorce 20 years ago was not amicably and seems to resent that. Please help. Answer

That's the thing, as long as your step-son thinks he knows better than those people who are in a genuine position to help him, he's going to remain an alcoholic. And that's the problem, alcoholics tend to think they know better or are in denial, and that's why no one can help them.

Until your son is ready and wants to be helped, unfortunately nothing is going to change. That's why you need to be firm and don't let him get away with his behavior. If he's rude, drunk, or behaves inappropriately in any way - there need to be consequences from your side.

You need to lay down boundaries of what's acceptable and what isn't - and if he ever crosses those boundaries, you need to hold him accountable by enforcing consequences that will make him realise he can't do as he pleases.

You and your wife can't control your step-son's choices, but you can control your responses and what behavior you are and are not prepared to tolerate. That also teaches your son that he needs to start taking responsibility for his life, and that it's up to him if he's ever going to overcome his alcoholism.

P.S. Pedro, I've just finished putting together a book that goes into a lot more detail around exactly what you need to do to help your son. It's called Help! My Child Is An Addict and if you would like to find out more, you can do so by Going Here

Comments for My 26 yr Old-Step Son Is an Alcoholic and We Seem Not To Be Able To Help Him.

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Sympathse NEW
by: Anonymous

Hi just to let you n i sympathise with you its horrendous what you have to put up wth and go thru , My step son is 35 and a Alcoholic we have done everything in our power to help him hes been to rehab 3 times , we have given him money beacuse as soon as he gets pad (dole money ) he gets it fortnighty and blows the lot in 2 days , so we are left to bil him out ie food shelter drink cigarettes it s cripling us & we dont no what to do anymore ,we have now got him into a hostel but he has gone worse snce then i thk he gets drunk and all the other people in ther take his money they also took his phone , so as i say i really do sympathise with what you are going thru and hope he sees sence very soon good luck x

My step son is an addict and verbally and emotionally abuses his mother
by: Anonymous

We are currently dealing with our son who is an alcoholic and drug user. (I am his step father) we get calls when something has gone wrong in his "world" and the common denominators are drugs, or alcohol. His biggest complaint is "why won't you help me" I forgot to mention he usually calls intoxicated and out of control. As a result of his constant abusive behavior my wife is getting highly frustrated and feels completely helpless. From my perspective I feel awkward at times because when the profanity starts combined with the yelling I want to grab the phone and hang up.
Our biggest mistake is we never set boundaries which is why we continually see a constant cycle of abuse.
I'm writing this to tell who ever might be reading this don't wait to define and maintain boundaries.
Tonight is our beginning, we are having dinner with our son and will layout a set of consequences that will be enforced if he crosses the line. Maybe once he understands how serious we are he will be forced to look at himself and make the necessary changes that allow him to celebrate life again. And not with a drink!

by: Anonymous

From experience you cannot make an alcoholic believe they need help because they are right & everyone else is to blame for their drinking. But from experience please set boundaries & stick to them I didn't & now I'm in a big big mess. No matter how how angry or threatening your son gets stick to the boundaries.

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