My 26 yr Old-Step Son Is an Alcoholic and We Seem Not To Be Able To Help Him.
He almost died 9 months ago with alcoholic poisoning and alcohol induced hepatitis and . was in the hospital for 6 weeks and went to rehab for one week. He then went to a counselor once and stopped because in his mind he knows better than the counselor.
He is headed for self destruction and we do not know how to help him. He has a lot of resentment towards his mother and when intoxicated lashes out verbally against her. His father/mother divorce 20 years ago was not amicably and seems to resent that. Please help.
That's the thing, as long as your step-son thinks he knows better than those people who are in a genuine position to help him, he's going to remain an alcoholic. And that's the problem, alcoholics tend to think they know better or are in denial, and that's why no one can help them.
Until your son is ready and wants to be helped, unfortunately nothing is going to change. That's why you need to be firm and don't let him get away with his behavior. If he's rude, drunk, or behaves inappropriately in any way - there need to be consequences from your side.
You need to lay down boundaries of what's acceptable and what isn't - and if he ever crosses those boundaries, you need to hold him accountable by enforcing consequences that will make him realise he can't do as he pleases.
You and your wife can't control your step-son's choices, but you can control your responses and what behavior you are and are not prepared to tolerate. That also teaches your son that he needs to start taking responsibility for his life, and that it's up to him if he's ever going to overcome his alcoholism.
P.S. Pedro, I've just finished putting together a book that goes into a lot more detail around exactly
what you need to do to help your son. It's called Help! My Child Is An Addict and if you would like to find out more, you can do so by Going Here