My 22 Year Old Son Addicted to Heroin

by cynthia
(Maryland)

He started at the age of 17 and used for almost three years. He was "clean" on Suboxone for those three years and relapsed three times. He finally had a good job, a car and paying his bills. We found a nice apartment for him.

Two weeks before he moved in his doctor went on vacation and he could not get a refill on his suboxone. He started to detox. He kept on working until it was bad enough that he talked to his boss, a female owner of a restaurant. She told him to take several days off to get straight. He was in bed those days and on the second day got a call from a co-worker asking if he was coming in that day, that he was a no show the day before.

He got up and drove the half hour drive to talk to his boss ... she had nothing to say but that he was done! This sent him into over drive and spiraling down a path he had seen before. Within two months he was back in rehab, 30 day program, did great, first day home called his dealer.

I have been dealing with this for five years and I have now cut him off. This is like losing your heart, I love him so much but I can NOT control him or his actions. I wait for the police to come knocking on my door, he is either in jail or dead. I know what I have been doing did not work, so I have to let him go and what will be will be. I know I did do everything for him.

Three rehabs in five years, paid all his bills and tried to keep him straight. Tried to believe that he was okay ... the track marks on both arms (veins collapsed on the other) VERY PROMINENT. EMBARRASSING, because he does not care who see them. There is five months left on his leased apartment and his unemployment. He will likely be on the streets again. My heart hurts. No one here understands my pain.