Is My Daughter Doing Drugs?
My daughter is a meth addict. To most people she seems fine now, but since I have never used drugs or been around anyone who does until now, I am constantly suspicious, especially when she sleeps so much.
Within the last year, she has come home after the court said she appeared clean and could raise her three-year-old daughter in my house. To most people she seems pretty much healed, but I don't trust the mood swings, excessive water drinking, and sleeping.
She does not pay rent, but does work around the house. And when she works, she really works, like a demon, always drinking ice water. She is generally very sweet and friendly to everyone, very helpful and kind. But then two or three times a month she crashes and has to sleep all day or two days.
During these times she is crabby when I wake her and short tempered with her daughter. She often just puts her daughter in front of the televison and sleeps. On other days when she is not sleeping, she works out excessively or works around my house with tremendous energy.
I must admit I am very happy to have her do the work. The judge told me that my daughter is a drug addict and a good one, meaning she is very deceptive. Is she so good that I can't even detect when she is using? Why does she need so much sleep 3 or 4 times a month? How did she pass the court-ordered drug tests?
She has stopped attending AA, and is seeing some old friends, but is still dedicated to her daughter when she is awake. How can I tell if she is still using, which would mean that I have to put her out and keep the child? I have to be sure she is remaining clean for the child's sake, otherwise, I will lose her too. If you see an obvious pattern, please advise.
Hi Donna, it's difficult to be 100% certain of your daughter doing drugs again, even if the signs are certainly suspicious. Mood swings, erratic behavior, and strange sleep patterns are often pointers, so you are right to be wary.
There are ways and means to get around drug tests if you know when they are going to take place, so the best way to be sure, would be to have her do one unnanounced so that she doesn't have time to 'beat the system.'
Having said that though, if your daughter is using meth again, it will soon become apparent because she won't be able to hide it for long. She'll start behaving more and more erratically - and her moods swings will become much more prominent so that you'll know without question something is up.
But start with having a chat to her and reminding her of the consequences of what will happen if it is found she's using drugs again, i.e. she stands to lose her daughter. That's why focusing on her recovery should be her priority, rather than spending time with old friends (which is definitely not a good sign).
She stands to lose a tremendous amount if she's using again, so by reminding her of that, and letting her know she will be found out sooner rather than later if she is, may give her the nudge she needs to get her life back on track if indeed she has slipped up.