I'm Pregnant and I Just Found Out My Boyfriend Is Shooting Up Heroin!
Ok so this is kind of a long story, please read the whole thing because I'm desperate for advice. My boyfriend and I met at the end of his last year of high school. We met at a party, and became best friends, shortly after we started going out.
We went to prom together, and were drug buddies. We smoked weed all day everyday. We were together all the time. And we did speed. I introduced him to coke, and heroin (snorting) - we did it very rarely, we also did acid and benzos. But never became dependant. Just to have fun.
We both got really good grades and school, and did well in work and with our families, we just loved partying. It didn't take long for us to fall in love with one another. I have been with him for 2 years now, and every day I love him more, He is always spoiling me. And we just have a genuine love and closeness for one another.
I got pregnant in may, so I stopped doing everything. And then I started noticing him developing an issue with opiets. I wanted to tell his mom so she would send him to rehab, but everyone told me not to. So I talked to him about it and he went on soboxone. He was sober for a while, not sure how long.
But I began to think he was using again when he would hang out with people who use. But he never seemed high around me. Then one time he didn't want me to go run erands with him, which I thought was weird. My water broke at 26 week. And I have been on bed rest in the hospital.
I am going to be here until Jan 14th when they induce me at 34 weeks. So at first when he came to visit me he was sober. But then I began to notice that he was coming high on opiets. (I thought he was snorting) pinned pupils, nodding, getting easily annoyed, not remembering, nodding off, sweating, itchy.
Then when he would spend the night he would wake up feeling sick (I've never gotten sick from not doing a drug. I looked through his bag trying to find something to verify what I thought, but didn't. I only found tramadol (its a really week pain killer, they give it to heroin addicts because they can't get high off of it.)
So he just spent two nights in a row here and I got solid evidence. First of all he would go to the bathroom with his book bag, and take like 15 minutes. He went out for ciggs multiple times. (He will smoke 1 cigg a day if he is sober) then that day we were taking a shower together and I saw this big bruise on his upper arm. I asked him what it was, and he said that he didn't know.
So then when he was asleep I went through his phone. (I have complete trust in him, and I never go through his phone, I just had to know if he was using). So he sent a bunch of texts out to a bunch of different drug dealers asking for a 40 bag of heroin. This one kid sent him a text saying he had really good shit that my boyfriend had to try.
Then I read this conversation between him and his best friend that made my stomach turn. He said "the plunger on my giz is broken, I waisted like half a hit" ... in another text his friend said "it was scary watching you OD the other day, you really scared me" ... another one saying "wanna just share my needle" - and then him replying "no sharing needles is dirty, wanna just go $1.50 each on a pack."
Then he told his friend to go to cvs and get "22gage 1cc hypodermic needle." I couldn't fall asleep after reading that. I haven't been able to get off the computer to figure out what to do. Him and I have always talked so much shit about people that shoot up. This entire thing completely breaks my heart, I thought he was using but I never thought that he had switched to the needle.
I don't even know if there is any hope for him. I called him yesterday and I said "the bruise on your arm really scared me, are you shooting up?" And he laughed and said no, then I asked him if he was using at all and he said no. We have a baby girl that is going to be born in a month!
He can't be around if he is going to be shooting up. Or using anything period! I went through my experimenting phase and I'm done with all of that. I'm ok with smoking pot every now and then (and will smoke until the day I die.) I don't want her exposed to any drugs. I think I might tell his mom and have him sent to rehab if he is still using a month after she is born.
I also think that he might have a plan to quit before she is born. I want to get him to admit to me that he has started shooting up. But I don't want to directly confront him, because I don't want him to run away from me and his family. I don't want him to turn to living with friends and on the streets. I really don't know what to do. I'm at a loss for words. And it kills me everyday thinking that I did this to him, that this is all my fault.