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I Lost My Entire Life to Dope: Living the Nightmare of my ex-Husband's Addiction to Heroin and Meth

by TK
(Anchorfage)

My ex husband Bob (all names changed) - smoked our entire life. We were married 17 years and together for 19. HE was an ok husband. Good provider but kind of an asshole.

He was very successful in his career and I was in the same field. It was the restaurant business. He had an opportunity in Alaska and we took it. I say we because I thought we were a team. Who knew we were not? Like he said it was all him. I knew that. Or did I?

He is now a heroin addict with meth and crack abuse thrown in as well. The meth monsters came to visit me. I first met them in Oct 2008 when I was accused of sleeping with his brother. That was nothing. The meth monsters are very amazing creatures. They can make all things possible. I was accused of having sex in the walls with my employees that were incarcerated over 30 miles away.

The final straw was when smoke was coming out of the ceilings. Only those on meth could see it. Maybe you had to be up for nine days too. This is so complex that I have had several former meth addicts tell me that they have never seen anyone go off the freakin edge like this.

He is a wack a doodle wing nut! I think this could be a lifetime story because we were the perfect All American success story - We both came from middle class families and we had a huge home and were living the big American dream. I was living a nightmare and I still am. It will never end.

If I was suicidal I would kill myself but I do not believe in that. I need to be alone I guess. My new boyfriend tonight told me that I ruin everything. Here we go again. I don't want to be around the drugs and he was tweakin so I guess I do ruin everything.

I need a boyfriend or really just a friend that is clean and free of the drugs. I am going to go back into hibernation. I am so depressed.

Comments for I Lost My Entire Life to Dope: Living the Nightmare of my ex-Husband's Addiction to Heroin and Meth

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by: Anonymous

TK - It will be important for you if you want to change the types of relationships you get into - Is to truly work on yourself - There is a reason to continue in unhealthy behaviors - and that will be your Key - It has for me - when I stop searching for unhealthy things, people and places - I become more healthy and make better choices - Addicts will be addicts until they get help - it is no different - Nothing Changes If Nothing Changes - I wish you well - It is a choice - even for you

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I agree with C-P
by: Katherine

I agree with C-P. You have the power to change your future. It may not be easy but if there is a will there is a way. You have to be strong and do this for yourself. It's not a bad thing to be selfish in these situations. If you find the right people and join a group or even get can therapy you can do this. I see in your title that you lost your life. No you did't because you build a new one and better one. Also think of it this way. If you are feeling bad guess who is in control of your life? Your ex-husband! I hope you are saying NO WAY!!! I have helped alot of friends through some hard times by using that example. I know you can do this. Keep that head held high and try to look forward to each day ahead of you. The past take it as a learning lesson and use the negative situations to help you find a solution to you being happy again. I am myself divorced and since remarried and I know my ex hates the fact that I am happy and can survive without him. Have a good rest of your day. Try to smile:)

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Thanks
by: TK

Thank You CP
I needed that

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Time to change your future
by: C-P

Hi TK

There is nothing you can do about your past, but you can work on changing your future. There's obviously a reason you are attracted to and end up with men who are inclined to addiction and the abuse of drugs.

I think you need to look at learning how to develop healthy relationships. There's a great organisation that helps with that CoDA (coda.org). Until you change the underlying reasons that end up with you attracting these kinds of men, you'll just keep repeating the same pattern.

So it's time to make a fresh start. Never lose hope that things can change for you. If you're determined to change your life and circumstances you can. And there are people who can help you like I mentioned above.

So stay strong, decide on the kind of life you really want for yourself ... and the go out and make it happen ... one baby step at a time.

Wishing you luck and strength.

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