I Am In Treatment, But My Girlfriend Who I Love Is Still Using

by Valent
(the bronx)

I have been in treatment and recovery and even going to NA meetings for 8 months now. I am in a inpatient program and I am soon to get out.

My recovery group tells me not to go back to my girlfriend because I know she is still using and I know that twice in my past I have relapsed being with her and I don't ever want to go down that road again.

I am done using. So, I guess I have to be done with her too? We don't have children together, but she has kids and I am attached to them and they are attached to me.

She has always been there for me in the past my ride or die chick. It's hard ...I need some advise

Alcoholism-and-Drug-Addiction-Help.com Answer

This probably isn't what you want to hear, but which is more important to you - staying clean or staying in a relationship with your girlfriend?

Because that's essentially the crux of the matter. You said it yourself, each time you tried getting clean before you ended up relapsing with her. So what's different this time?

You say she's always been there for you in the past ... sure, but that's while you two were happily using drugs together. How was she being there for you when you relapsed with her?

Realistically it's almost impossible to have a successful relationship with a drug addict ... or any addict for that matter. Her priority will be getting high, while yours will be trying to stay clean and build a new life for yourself - the two don't go together.

You're probably thinking right now you'll figure out a way to make it work, or that you'll also convince her to get clean ... but it never ends well. She has chosen to continue using drugs and until she reaches a point where she actually wants to change, you're fighting a losing battle.

There's a reason that one of the key principles of recovery is the concept of people, places and things. If you keep hanging with people who use drugs, it's only a matter of time before you relapse.

So it comes back to the question, which is more important to you ... staying clean or your girlfriend? It's horrible having to let go of someone you care about, but unless you make staying clean a priority you're heading down a dangerous road.

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