I am in Active Addiction. I Know I am Dying but I Can Not Find a Way to Stop.
I was first addicted to heroin. I beat that addiction after one year. Then three months of being completely clean I was introduced to crystal meth and my addiction got me again - just it was a whole different type of drug.
Don't give up on yourself! You've beaten two addictions before - and even though you don't think you have it in you to do it again - you can!
The doctor who prescribed that to you is crazy considering your history with drug addiction - so I hope you've changed Doctors and no longer use him.
But the main thing now is not to blame or be angry with him - because you need to focus all your attention on getting clean.
The first step you need to take is get help. In other words you need to find a treatment program for your addiction. In your condition you can't do this alone. Here's a number you can call - 800-559-9503 and they can help you find a treatment program that is suitable for you. Don't wait - call them straight away!
Then I want you to get yourself to an NA meeting. NA is an excellent 12 step program that can help you recover from your addiction - like it has millions of others. And there you'll also meet other people you can talk to and guide you through this really tough period you're going through. The more you surround yourself with good people who understand what you're going through - the better your chance at recovery.
If you don't know how to find a meeting in your area and want to speak to someone first go this NA Page where you'll be able to look up the contact details of who to contact depending on where you live.
Just take one step at a time. Remember that addiction is a disease of the mind and spirit - and that's why it's so important you find a treatment and recovery program to help you. Don't try do this alone. There is hope - don't give up on yourself.
Take that first step by making that call ... then find an NA meeting you can go to (or at least call them) and then you'll already feel better. If it's too hard for you to call - ask your Mom or a family member/friend to help you. Don't hide this from them. They love you and will want to help you.
Your life is precious - so don't give up on it. One day you'll be able to use the experience of what you've gone through to help others and make a difference. I believe in you and know you can do this. Take those first steps now - and things will get better, you'll see.
Let me know how you're doing and if you need anything else. Keep posting here as often as you need to if it helps. We'll be here to help as best we can.
Don't give up and take those first steps now.
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