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I Am a Mother and a Nurse .... and I Am an Alcoholic. I'm Scared!!!

by Lori
(New York)

I am a mother of two beautiful children that I have lost custody of about a year ago. I'm fighting everyday to get my children back ... I have gone to rehab and residential recovery setting to stop using alcohol.

I must of been only 2 weeks of being back to work and in my own apartment and I relapsed after a visit with my 2yr old son - for me I turn to alcohol when I can't deal with pain or stress or anything that goes wrong.

For me I'm just coming to realize that I am an alcoholic. I wasn't getting the help for myself before - I was only doing what I needed to do to get my children back and that I thought should never been taken away. I was not doing it for myself, I was just going through the motions.

You would think my rock bottom would be my children gone but I guess it wasn't. My children being gone was a way to try to drink myself to death because I knew no other way to deal with the unbearable pain.

I am now 2 days sober. I lost my good paying nursing job. My boyfriend has left me and my parents have given up on me, and who knows where I am going from here. I am scared but the one thing I do know is that I could not pick up a drink today and haven't since I was told I was fired.

I have now lost everything to this terrible disease. Everyone in my life says it was a choice - and maybe it was - but I don't see how I would consciously make such bad choices and throw my whole life out the window.

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Thank you
by: Anonymous

Thanks so much...Your words were inspiring..and hopeful!!!

It's okay to be scared
by: Anonymous

Its okay to be scared. In fact fear can be a good thing. Harness that fear to do what you need to do, to overcome your alcoholism. Get professional help, start working a recovery program ... whatever it takes. Alcoholism can happen to anyone, even a nurse like you. Do it for your children too so that they can have a mother to look up to and be proud of. Life is short. Why waste it from being inside a bottle half the time? Don't stop believing you can turn your life around. Remember the power lies within you. It's there. You just have to learn how to access it. God Bless and Best of Luck

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