He Wants To Move Back In After His 3rd Rehab.
My son just finished his 3rd rehab for heroin addiction. Says he's doing great, even got a job. He wants to move back in to "save money for an apartment". I've heard it all before.
I told him this last rehab time he was not coming back home until he finishes rehab and goes to a continuing rehab place after that.
Well, now I'm thinking about helping him out, but I just don't know what to do? His new job is within walking distance from my house and I could use some help financially.
Do I stick to what I said to him or help him out ... again?
First, you need to get yourself Help! My Child Is An Addict
because it covers the topic of whether to let an addicted child live at home with you, and the issue of providing them with financial support, in a lot of detail.
You said it yourself - what's going to change this time? Your son moving onto an After Care Program after his spell in rehab is probably the best place for him because it will help him assimilate into everyday life more easily.
The realities of the 'real world' can be too much for addicts coming straight out of rehab, so a place that will help him bridge that gap is not a bad idea, and is something you should be pushing for.
On top of which going back on your initial condition that he isn't allowed home until he's been through a post-rehab facility or program sends out entirely the wrong message.
So be firm with your son and tell him he needs to follow through on what was initially agreed upon. Then if he has shown he can stay clean and and is committed to building a new life for himself, you'll review the situation and consider letting him move home temporarily, until he gets on his feet.
If it gets to that though - make sure you put a written contract in place that covers the conditions for allowing him to move back, the consequences for breaking those - and a clear time frame for which he can live with you.
Hopefully this is the turning point for your son and he manages to stay clean, but it's important you have clear boundaries in place so that your son knows exactly what the consequences will be if he relapses again. All the Best