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Caroline's Alcoholism Story: I'm Not Sure I Can Put Up With My Husband's Drinking Anymore

by Caroline

My name is Caroline and have a wonderful husband and three beautiful children! Alcohol has detroyed my husband and all of our relationship.

I have been attending Al Anon for three years now and found a lot of peace - however I have come to resent my husband for everything he is about.

He is a third generation alcoholic and I was aware of this when we met. I grew up around people who drank but had no idea what a horrible destroying disease it could be.

He was smart, ambitious, and dazzling to be around. We married had a good self owned business. Had children and he would party but not majorly.

I was loving and possessive. Thought everything was great. Ten years into our marriage things got bad - business was not good ... lost everything.

I started working outside home making descent money. He gave up!!!Shucking all responsibility. We lived an expensive life!!!

Now we have been married 23 years. He has been in trouble with Law .Three Dui's, Jail, House arrest. Thinks the police have it in for him. Very paranoid.

On top of that he will not take care of himself...Chronic sinus,asthma,high blood pressure,depression. I have to make him take his meds.

He does nothing to help himself and I continue to save him and our marriage. Why?????? All I can think about is life without him. I feel guilty for dreaming about this.

I don't know what to do? I don't want to ruin my children's lives. They are now 21,19,and 16. They love their Dad. He goes to AA but continues to drink.

In the morning he is a nice guy but you never know who he is going to be in evening. I want to divorce him but don't have guts!!!

Comments for Caroline's Alcoholism Story: I'm Not Sure I Can Put Up With My Husband's Drinking Anymore

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Apr 28, 2013
by: Anonymous

I am living this nightmare now. He is in his 4th detox center headed to his second inpatient 45 day program and honestly, I no longer care how it turns out. I have gotten my hopes up so many times only to be dropped to my knees at the sound of a beer can popping. I don't expect this to turn out any different than the last few hospital visits. I feel indifferent now and I don't know if that is good or bad. I never know anymore if I am doing the right things, saying the right things etc. All I really know right now is that I don't care anymore. I think this marriage is over for me. For him, time has stood still for the last two years because he has been drinking though it all...for me its been a rollercoaster of unbearable pressure. Therapy is next on my list....but this time, its for me.

Aug 10, 2009
by: Anonymous

Wow sounds like my life..23 years of marraige, children are grown, all he does now is drink and be mean....I feel at a total loss as well.

Jun 04, 2009
I think you should leave him
by: Amelia

My story is similar. My husband was an alcoholic for many years. We went through it all - promises to quit, change, get help, the lot. But of course nothing ended up changing because he wasn't ready to change. And after a while my threats became meaningless and my life miserable. There was nothing left for me to do I felt. So I left him. I know it was the right decision. My life is so much better and I'm much happier. I can't change my husband. His alcoholism is ultimately something he will have to learn to overcome himself. I tried to do everything I could, but sadly nothing worked.

May 29, 2009
What Will Change?
by: Anonymous

Caroline - what will change if you do nothing? There is not much you can do about your husband's drinking. The only thing you can control is yourself. So if you're that unhappy - surely it isn't good for you to stay with him? Have you tried other forms of intervention? Does your husband know how unhappy you are? This has obviously been going on a long time - so you need to decide what is best for you in the long run. And I'm sure whatever you decide your kids are now old enough to understand if you're honest with them about how you feel and why.

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