Binges, Blackouts and Anxiety!
Hello, I'm a 25 year old male and I drink at the weekend. I can also go for a while without a drink, up to a month (but it tends to be every couple of weeks).
The problem is when I drink on these occasions I tend to take it too far! It can last up to 3 days and this is usually without eating anything, and this sometimes involves drugs.
For a while now, I often wake after these sessions with terrible anxiety. I also have areas of my memory that are completely blank and I tend to think the worst about what could've happened the night before.
For the last couple of years I've just brushed off my heavy drinking and seen it as normal, and just part of the culture. But like I say, I'm 25 now and don't want to carry on this cycle of binge drinking.
My big worry is that this drinking is getting progressively worse and I really don't know what I'm capable of when I'm drunk. I can get aggressive and hear about arguments I've had, it worries me and I really want to cut out the alcohol before it's too late and something bad really happens.
This may sound over the top but it is how I feel. The other issue is after 4/5 days I tend to feel better again ... so then I have another drink ... then more drink... then more drink... then boom! Back to square one and the cycle continues!
I don't know whether I should go to my doctor, I just wanted to see what people thought first. It's the first time that I've acknowledged my problem with such seriousness that I'm posting on a forum.
It's difficult though because it's embarrassing to talk about, and I don't want to seem like I'm making an issue out of something that isn't an issue. Any guidance would be
I can really relate to your story. The binge drinking, drugs, anxiety, blackouts are all things I experienced. And its an incredibly lonely place to be because you're not sure if you're making a big deal out of nothing or what's really going on.
It's a brave start acknowledging for the first time that you think you have a problem. Putting it out there like that. And its probably the hardest step of all as well. Know this, there are people out there that can help you.
I wouldn't necessarily start with your Doctor, because they tend to be generalists and don't always understand the nature of addiction. Best place for you to go would be a rehab/treatment facility.
Being in an environment where there are specialists to help you and others going through similar stuff to you makes a massive difference. Suddenly you don't feel so alone anymore. And you realise you can beat this.
Rehab isn't a magic cure by any means but it equips you with the tools and knowledge to make a fresh start and leave your addictive tendencies behind you for good. It takes work and commitment to maintain a life of sobriety and overcome those demons that cause one to self-destruct, but I promise you its worth it.
You have nothing to be embarrassed about. You may think your drinking/using isn't bad enough to justify getting professional help, but if you're on a forum like this and are questioning your using, trust me your problem is serious enough to warrant it.
It's not about how much or how often you drink/use - but rather the effects its having on your well-being and state of mind. Don't be scared to reach out and ask for help. You really can get through this but don't try to do it alone. Get the help you need, you won't regret it. Best of luck and thanks for posting.