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Are These Signs That My Husband Relapsed Back on Meth?

Been with my husband almost 8 years and for at least the last 6 years he has used/sold meth off and on (mostly on). Everytime he would get worse and we would always fight.

I've never used or been around drugs so this behavior was new to me. He would leave for 2 week usually before he would contact me and everytime he would stay in contact with me off and on until he finally decided to "clean up" (so he would say) and come home.

During these time he would never work but say he was looking for work. Without getting to deep into details, he has broken my heart more than 8 times within the last 6 years and there was always another woman evertime he left and it was usually the same woman because she was the one who helped him get and sell the drugs.

In 2010 we had our 1st son and he was hardly there for me through my pregnancy. Then 7 months after our son was born I got pregnant again (after we had been apart for 4 months). I was devastated because i knew it was just a matter of time and yes i was right.

Not even 3 months and he was gone again. Involved in identity theft, drugs and who knows what else (not to mention he left again with that same woman). Well that was February 2011. I decided at the end of March I would try to cut off communication from him although I knew it would be hard because he was my addiction and it was killing me.

So I did and by the last week of May he texted me asking for help. He ended up going to Teen Challenge (which is suppose to be 1 year program) but after 2 1/2 months our 2nd son was born and he said he was reading to serve God and get busy with the ministry so he didnt want to go back.

For at least a month he was on fire for God and living in San Diego while I would drive every weekend to spend 2-4 days with him. He got a good job through a man in his church and found a good place to stay where we and the boys could come to also.

After 3 months I found out he was in contact with that woman but he said it was to just see how she was doing but i asked him why he was being sneaky about it. He said cause he knew i would be mad. (hell yeah)

Ok so here is my dilemma. That happened this last December 2011 and by the end of January of 2012 he told me he wasnt happy with me and wanted to seperate. I was devastaed because we had been spending 4 days a week together going to church and christian marriage counseling and classes and BAM!!! he throws that at me.

The only excuse he had was he loved me but wasnt in love with me and was not happy and didnt want to stay together because of the kids. Wow! So within 2 weeks he quits his job and moves back to this area where he did drugs but says it was to be closer to his kids and now hes living with his mom who is in denial that he is an addict.

So my question is this .... Do any of you who have been addicts or been in my shoes think or maybe know more than 90 positive that he relapsed? I found alcohol in a drawer and numerous lies the last week we was together. Pornography, alcohol, and secret phone calls off his computer. Did he leave me for drugs again? HE SWEARS HE IS SOBER AND THAT HIS NEW DRUG IS THE HOLY SPIRIT.

Could he be sober living like this? I don't hear from him and haven't seen him in 6 weeks but the usual is he is clean for 3-4 months and leaves and relapsed for 3-4 months then calls me saying hes sorry and misses me but now he says hes not happy and there is nothing there. Could he be sober telling me this??? PLEASE I NEED ANSWERS IM SO CONFUSED.

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Apr 18, 2013
Move on for you and your kids
by: Monica Sullivan

Let me tell you I was you for 9yrs of my life..... I had kids to an by me staying and going back ended up screwing up my head and my girls.... My youngest 2 which r his kids they have so much anger and all this other shit that scares the hell out me!!! Its just as much my fault as it his MINE FOR STAYING AND KEEPING MY KIDS AROUND ALL THAT MESS!!!!! Been left him 5yrs now couldn't b happier!!!!!!!!

Jul 09, 2012
let go
by: Cindy

Your husband has been putting you through turmoil through your entire relationship. Until he deals with the underlying reasons behind his use, he may stop using (or he may not) but he will not be emotionally healthy. Just finding God, does not help him deal with those issues. You, by staying with him are teaching your child that an unhealthy relationship is acceptable, and setting him or her up to have the same emotional turmoil through out life. What I see is that it doesn't matter whether he is using or not. What matters is what he is putting you through. The right thing for you to do for your child is to walk away. It will be hard, as you have grown emotionally attached to the chaos he brings to your life. At first you will feel empty and at a loss. But soon the peace and quiet will comfort you. You will find yourself able to face your friends and family again (I suspect that you avoid getting to close because you don't want to hear what they have to say about him)You will find comfort in healthy friendships and eventually healthy relationships. I would strongly suggest that you seek help or counseling of some kind to deal with your low self esteem issues, and with your own addiction to chaos and emotional heartache. I do not say these things to hurt you. But ask you to look into yourself and ask why you would allow someone to treat you like that for so many years. I know why I did, and why most others have. You deserve better. Good luck.

Apr 23, 2012
by: Anonymous

He's relapsed and you need to come to terms with that. Its time for you to move on, and as difficult as that may seem, you won't regret doing so. And why would you want to be with him when he's openly been with another women? All he's doing is repeating the lies and manipulating you into thinking he's a changed man. The sooner you get him out of your life and have nothing more to do with him, the better

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