Alcoholic Boyfriend of Six Months - Told Him to Leave
We are both divorced and both 52 years old. This was supposed to be our great last chance for romance. He moved into my place after a few weeks of going out. He is very handsome and very sexy and ... an alcoholic.
Of course, he doesn't think so. He calls himself a habitual drinker, and he can cut back or quit any time he wants. He doesn't drink before 6 pm. He never blacks out or gets into fights. BUT he is unemployed and homeless and bankrupt and suffers from insomnia and depression. His kids hardly talk to him and he owes all his friends money.
I read post after post after post of people staying/suffering with an alcoholic partner for YEARS. I'm too old to go through all that.
And yet, he says he loves me. He says I didn't give it a chance. He says I'm throwing away our future, the house he will build one day, the trips we will take, the adventures we will have.
Logically, I know this is the right thing. Addicts lie. I know that.
Please tell me I did the right thing kicking him out.
You did the right thing. He's the one throwing away your future together because he's the one that isn't prepared to stop drinking.
You might try asking him how you're going to have this wonderful future together if he's unemployed, homeless and bankrupt ...
As an alcoholic, he will do anything and everything to deny the extent of his problem, allowing him to avoid taking responsibility for the state of his life currently, and so blaming you becomes the easy thing to do.
Until he's able to get real, acknowledge he has a problem, and go on and receive proper help for it, nothing is going to change ... in fact it will probably only get worse.
So for a bit of pain now, you're saving yourself a lot of heartache later. Addicts easily confuse 'love' with 'neediness'. Real love is a verb, it's about your actions, not about throwing around a word that has become so misused today.
You're 52 years young - plenty time still to find a man that can be there for you in ways that an alcoholic simply cannot.
Best of Luck.