Adoring Mother of 3 Heroin Addicts Who Are Now In Recovery
(Chester, NH. USA)
Hello, I am a married 46 year old mother with 3 sons (29,27,25) who all became heroin addicts. I have pulled two of my sons from places no one should ever visit. I was amazed at the number of their friends mom's who did heroin with them!
I chased them around for years, took them to court to get detox orders, admitted them to hospitals, hit them, threw them out, ignored them. You name it I've done it. We sold our home and moved to a bordering state to save them from themselves.
I wanted to die it was my last request every night please don't let me wake up. I was destroyed watching my sons kill themselves daily. Two have done short times in jails, they have stole so much it's to much to mention.
Their relationship with their dad was destroyed. Now it's on the mend and so are they. My 29 year old is working towards sobriety but not all the way there yet. My 27 year old moved to the West Coast 3/23/2008 and has been sober since! My 25 year old is still at home and also sober.
How did this happen? Why did they choose to numb themselves? Was it us, the parents they hated? Will they ever recover? I always tell them LOVE YOURSELF ENOUGH TODAY TO STAY SOBER BECAUSE I LOVE YOU ALL THE OTHER DAYS. I tell them they are good people that had a bad problem. They are not bad people.
Things are looking up but my 29 year old has been using different drugs since he was 15! So it has been a long road. The
heroin came into use about 6 years ago. Today I can smile but I always worry will this be the day. I had come to terms with the following, one will die and one will go to prison for the rest of his life. Not something any parent should be comfortable knowing.
My son's are bright, good looking, intelligent and have impeccable manners. They are heroin addicts. I love them and want to take all their pain away but I can't so I listen to them and hug them. I let them know they are my greatest gifts. They are always first no matter what.
Their addiction made me look at the world differently. My son once told me in a fit of anger during a fight "mom when the teacher went around the room in second grade and asked what we wanted to be, "I did not raise my hand and say an addict".
I couldn't breathe. My husband, their father was no help at all. One of my sons tried to kill himself more than once. He OD multiple times. My husband loathed him and it made me sick. I hated everyone, myself the most. I tried to kill myself but was not gutsy enough.
So now 3/30/10 I sit here happy, loving my sons, loving their sobriety and loving 2 new grandchildren. So if there is one piece of advise I can give, chase them around, call the cops on the dealers, go to court to get detox orders if you have to. I was everywhere, I called all the dealers I didn't care my first priority was to save my sons. I have succeeded!