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A Daughter's Nightmare: A Mother's Depression and Alcoholism

Hi. I'm not sure where to begin. My mom was always a party girl when she was younger. No one had ever suspected anything apparently. We moved many times, 3 different countries. We are originally from Russia..

We had moved to Denver, Colorado in 1998 ... this is where I personally think it began. She is a dancer by profession, finished a prestigious ballet school. When we moved she had to take up small jobs working in stores and cleaning houses or "cleaning toilets" as she called it. She began drinking more actively with some of her friends, some days she began to be more aggressive than others. Blaming everyone for any pain that they ever caused her, she became almost abusive.

In 2002, we were deported ... she didn't drink (probably because she didn't have the resources). We settled in Toronto, Canada. She didn't work because my parents thought it would be better if she stayed with me while I went to school. However, even after I was responsible enough to go to school by myself, she then didn't want to go work, she became absolutely impossible to deal with, she drank all the time, she was abusive, it was so painful to deal with no one knew how to help her, my dad thought she would get over it.

Years passed and she still didn't work until one day she applied to a store and started working there, she was "trying" for us, she also went to learn English, which she still has trouble with to this day ... and met this guy, she didn't have any friends so began a friendship with him

Clearly it turned into more than friendship because she became obsessed, her drinking increased and for the past three years now she calls him 24/7 when she's drinking. The guy is totally enjoying torturing her or the entertainment. He basically used her and now is trying to get rid of her.

Our family is suffering we don't know what to do, she is aggressive and completely lost. I now have grown up and have been going through a horrible divorce and a son to raise. I need my mother, she is the only family I have and I am terrified that this long life of drinking will soon end in the worst way. I hope one day she gets help:(

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Your Mother Needs Professional Help
by: Sue.

The only way your mother is going to turn her life around is by admitting to her addiction, and then getting the help she needs to change. But she has to want to change - and unless she does, there isn't a lot you can say/do that will make a difference. As much as you want your mother to be a bigger part of your life, don't count on that happening, so focus on doing everything you can to find your own happiness and being self-sufficient. I know it's not easy being a single mother, but as long as you keep doing your best and giving your child love, trust that somehow everything will work out for the best in the end. Groups like Al Anon which is for family members of alcoholics can also provide you with support and make sense of what your mother is going through. Take care and best of luck

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