What Can I Do To Open Lines Of Communication With an Alcoholic?

by Bonnie
(Davenport, Iowa, USA)

My identical twin seems to be an undiagnosed alcoholic. She is also an insulin dependent diabetic. The diabetes was diagnosed in, I believe, 2004 or so, and she began taking insulin immediately.

She seems to have had an addictive personality since we were both in college. She began experimenting with drugs then and eventually dropped out. I don't know exactly when that addiction ended and she became addicted to nicotine, which still exists.

I do know she had what I think was an "alcoholic blackout" during Christmastime 2009, as she and I had quite a verbal battle and my husband and I left the next morning without saying a word. She was still in a rage at that time.

She eventually said she was giving up hard liquor as it messed up her blood sugar and sent her into low blood sugar episodes (insulin shock) where she would get belligerent. As an insulin dependent diabetic for 38 years, I do know that low sugar can produce belligerence and rage.

She apologized for the rage about a year later. She has never stopped hard liquor, apparently. My husband and I drove to her house 8 hours away for another Christmas for 2011, and she was, as was my brother and his wife, drinking heavily.

After some more alcoholic (as well as need to control my life) rages, she threw us out of her house around 7pm on 12/27. I have tried to contact her and she refuses to speak with me. Is there any hope at all?

Alcoholism-and-Drug-Addiction-Help.com Answer

It's interesting that even though your sister is the one who has caused the fall-out in your relationship due to her drinking and behavior ... you're the one trying to re-initiate contact and make amends.

That's pretty typical alcoholic behavior - the rest of the world is to blame and they're never at fault. So don't take it personally.

As long as your sister has other people to blame and be angry with, she doesn't have to look in the mirror and take personal responsibility for any of her behavior ... especially her drinking.

Is there hope? There is always hope. But its not something you have any control over. No one can help your sister until she is ready to help herself. And until she is ready to do something about her alcoholism, nothing you can say or do will make much difference.

So if she doesn't want to talk to you now ... well so be it. You have your own life to live, a husband/family that loves you, so try not to let it worry you too much. Let her take the initiative when she's ready and in the meantime carry on living your life. All the Best.

+1 Alcoholism-and-Drug-Addiction-Help.com