We Had To Ask Our Son and His Wife to Move Out. My Son Is a Drug Addict and His Wife Has Done Drugs as Well.

They both have been lying to me and my husband since they have arrived, the last straw was when my son stole a check from us and cashed it. They were asked to leave, my son has two stepchildren who we are keeping with us.

My son and his daughter got an efficiency and said they are drug-free and trying to get jobs. My son has chronic spine problems which is why he is an addict now. I feel so sad and worried and guilty for them.

I love my son so much but I don't know what else to do. We are drained financially. Is the right thing being done here? I don't have any answers, please need some outside advise. Thank you

Alcoholism-and-Drug-Addiction-Help.com Answer

Yes you have done the right thing. Lying, stealing and general dishonesty are not behaviors that you can or should condone, so your son has left you with no choice.

Your son has to realise that its up to him to take responsibility for his addiction, and that until he does his life is not going to change.

And its up to you to force him to take that responsibility - because by supporting him and allowing him to live with you, he's always got you to depend on and so all you do is enable his addiction.

You're never going to stop loving your son, but one of the most loving things you can do as a parent is teach your children about taking personal responsibility for their lives and the choices they make. And that sometimes means putting boundaries in place and saying 'no more.'

Encourage your son to get professional help and turn his life around, but make it clear that its up to him to make it happen, and that the only person who has the power to change anything, is he himself. And the sooner you stop enabling him the sooner, he's likely to reach the point where he's actually ready to change and turn his life around.

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