Salvage My Marriage After My Alcoholism

by Anthony R
(Ohio)

I am sadly a recovering alcoholic. Though I had "reasons" to use that as my way to numb the things that hurt me, it has our marriage on the edge of the end.

I don't know what to do. I have take the first step toward beating this terrible disease but she said its too late. Does anyone have any advice as to how I can repair my damage?

I have been attending AA and honestly am committed to staying on the path of recovery. I know I have to do that regardless but I really love my wife and don't want to lose her.

I was never physically or verbally abusive. I simply drank to numb the pain inside me and normally went home and fell asleep. Maybe if people who have lived on both sides of this issue can help me?

Alcoholism-and-Drug-Addiction-Help.com Answer

Anthony, it takes time to repair the trust that has been broken, so you have to earn that again. That doesn't happen over night and it shows through in your actions rather than anything you say.

You're heading in the right direction by committing to confront your alcoholism and embrace the path of recovery. And that's what you need to focus on, trusting that if you do that everything will work out how its meant to.

You also need to understand how much your alcoholism would have affected your wife ... it takes a huge toll on any marriage or relationship. So you can't expect your wife to suddenly forgive you and pretend everything is ok.

The best thing you can do right now is to go to AA regularly, keep working the steps, and show your wife you are committed to changing.

Tell your wife you know you've broken her trust and that nothing you say can change that - but ask her to give you a chance to regain that through your actions.

Encourage her to also go to Al-Anon so she can understand more about your alcoholism ... and then she can decide whether or not she wants to give you another chance.

Because ultimately she's going to do what she thinks is best and obviously you've hurt her deeply - but if you can get her to give a bit of time and she genuinely sees you've made changes, she may change her mind.

It's hard - but as long as you stay sober and work at your recovery - have faith that everything will work out for the best one way or another. Good Luck and God Bless

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