MY Wife Of 13 Years Is An Alcoholic and Drug Addict. At A Loss As What To Do

by TOM
(BLOOMINGDALE, IL)

My wife drinks 4 cases of beer a week. I'm finding empty beer cans everywhere in the house (drawers, pockets of robes, empty purses). She says I'm nosey, lol. Smokes multiple one hitters of pot everday, a gram of cocaine a week that I am aware of, and uses benedryl to sleep.

Do you think she has a problem? She says I yell at her too much for it and she says I have anger issues. She calls me bi-polar. I've tried to get her to stop. No chance, she's too far along.

I found the coke the other day in one of her drawers and dumped it out. Walked out of the house and threatened to call the police on her. Turns around and calls them on me, for what reason I don't know.

Went to court and had her served with a order of protection to hopefully make her see the light. Called her mother and she thinks its all in my head - that I'm crazy and delusional. Anyone ever had the same experience?

Alcoholism-and-Drug-Addiction-Help.com Answer

Addicts and alcoholics are often unfortunately highly manipulative and cunning so part of what they're able to do is to turn things around so that their problems become your fault, and you actually seem the person to blame. You just need to see through that and understand where it's coming from and that it forms part of the addicted person's psyche.

All they're trying to do is justify their behavior - and what better justification can there be if they're not the one to blame? It's simply part of the insanity that accompanies a life of drug addiction or alcoholism.

So what you're experiencing isn't unusual at all. The methods may vary, but the ability to manipulate, spin, lie, blame and deceive are what addicts become good at so that they don't have to take responsibility for their lives.

Don't take it personally and understand that until your wife wants to turn her life around, there is usually little you can say or do that will want to make her do so. She'll have to come to that realisation herself, and that typically only happens once she's reached her rock bottom.

Hopefully your wife will eventually reach a point where she's ready to get help for her addictions and turn her life around, and in the meantime you have to make sure you don't lose yourself in the insanity of it all. Groups like Al-Anon and Nar-Anon can help tremendously in that regard.

All the Best

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