My Son is Addicted to Drugs. He is Lying, Stealing and Just Doesn't Care.
My son is 18 years old. I believe he has been doing drugs for about a year and a half. I just found out a few months ago. I got him help talking to a counsellor and he did a short time in rehab.
He was back into it in less than 2 weeks. Now he has stole from us for the last time - I told him to leave. The worst thing is he is doing this at a neighbours across the street with their 16 year old and some other boys. The parents don't do anything. Now they're letting my son stay there.
My wife thinks we did something wrong. I think its the drugs fault - I don't know. All I know is I want my son to be a good person which I know he can be, and not screw up his life and make more mistakes he will regret later.
I don't know if I should let him mess up or kick his butt like I feel like doing sometimes. I get so angry. Don't get me wrong, I have never hit my family. I just feel so helpless and sad that this is happening. He lost his job, his nice girlfriend and his family is not feeling too good about him right now.
We are praying for him. I would take any advise you might have for me to help my son. I love him and I want him to start caring about the the people who love him. I tried to talk to him. It's like I'm talking to a wall or an empty space.
As a parent all you can do is give your children the right tools and teaching in the hope that one day they will use them wisely and make good decisions with their life.
But ultimately they have to make it happen for themselves by making the right choices and learning from their mistakes. You can't force them to become the person you hope them to - so as a parent you have to learn to detach and let them learn for themselves.
That doesn't mean you shouldn't say or do anything when you see your son destroying his life with drug addiction. Be honest about how you feel, make it clear you'll help get him professional help if he's willing - but at the same time you can't stand by while he steals from you and destroys your home life.
So kicking him out was the right thing to do. Your son has to learn that with undesirable choices (i.e. using drugs, stealing etc.) come undesirable consequences. And if those consequences get bad enough for him - he might start to reconsider his destructive ways and be open to turning his life around.
Apart from that, there isn't a lot you can do. You can't control your son or make him behave in a particular way. Let him know you'll be there for him when he's ready to do something about his addiction, but until then he's on his own.
I wish there was an easier way, but unfortunately there isn't. Some refer to it as tough love, but I think of it as responsible love, because it forces a person to start becoming accountable for their actions. And so they learn that if they keep making poor choices with their life, the results are going to be pretty unpleasant.
So if the consequences of your son's drug addiction start to become bad enough for him, hopefully it will become the catalyst for him to change. All the best and take care.